Author: Breegan Jane

Parquet Flooring: Why I Installed It in My Home

The value of flooring in a home cannot be emphasized enough. As designer Emily Morrow said, “Home interior design begins with the floor. The floor is your blank canvas and it determines every design decision you’ll make once it’s down.” So much of your home’s overall look and feel starts with the floor. Wood flooring presents as one of the most regal and sophisticated options of home flooring. That look is elevated even more with parquet flooring. Here’s why it was one of my first considerations when designing my new home.

So many options!

My interest in parquet flooring grew as I began designing more high-end residential spaces. Before then, I only focused on the usual aspects of flooring: determining if the chosen wood would be dark, light, yellow, red or grey, wide or thin. Those were the basic options. Once I started experimenting with parquet flooring, I saw floor designing in a completely different light! I realized wood floors really could work like tile. they could be designed in any color, pattern or shape. That is what draws me to use it in my own home and beyond.

I also love parquet flooring because it allows me to create a space that doesn’t focus on a particular direction. This, to me, opens up a room. So much of what we perceive in visual design is built into our subconscious. When lines direct our eyes and mind to go one way or another, our brains follow suit and define a space based on those linear parameters. As soon as you create lines one way or the other, you make things appear long, short, narrow or wide. That can oftentimes be very effective, like when you want to emphasize a long, formal hallway. When you use parquet flooring that incorporates open and repeating patterns, it broadens the depth of the space. That subliminally makes it feel more open, and I wanted that effect in my home space.

Added Value

While there’s definitely a cost associated with designing and laying parquet floors, there are benefits to choosing it. First, its beauty and durability add value (and resale value) to a home. I’m someone who encourages clients to spend their budget in ways that invest in their properties, and quality flooring does just that.

I partnered with Parquet by Dian to create the flooring in my home. I selected a repeating pattern that I wanted to achieve and then picked the color of the wood grain. All of the flooring is made from the same material. The pattern is created by cutting wood on a different grain. I loved that I could see the pattern coming together with each differently positioned angle. So, I chose to go “light and bright” to accent the rest of the design elements I knew I wanted to use. I am thoroughly satisfied with the look, feel and value of the parquet. It was a great decision for my home.

Parquet flooring is truly an art form. That said, it’s not great for any and every application. It does take a little more time to install, and it is more expensive than traditional hardwood flooring. Some home designers or owners may find more value in the furniture selection or another aspect of home design. For me, the wear-and-tear factor caused me to consider utilizing my budget for aspects of my home that are permanent or would stand a longer test of time. Wherever you choose to focus your design spending, I hope you’ll consider parquet flooring. It challenges the norm of what floor design should be, and the elevated impact it will have on your home will last for years to come.

How to Vacation with Kids the Right Way!

Vacations are the best, aren’t they? Whether it’s sun and sand on a far-away beach, snowy slopes waiting to get tattooed with ski tracks, or a cultural oasis in another country, getting away from the norm is always rejuvenating. Taking a vacation with kids shouldn’t be any different! So many people think kids are burdensome when it comes to planning travel. That may be the case, but any burdens can be avoided with a few easy planning tips!

Pack a piece of home

A vacation with kids in tow doesn’t have to be difficult, but it must be strategic on your part, parents. The first thing to consider is getting to your vacation destination. No matter how you travel—car, plane, train, cruiseliner—know that kids fare better when they have something familiar with them. That being said, make sure you remember to pack a few of your child’s favorites from home. Be that the binky, the blanky or the best bedtime book, having something familiar from home will not make the plane or train feel so weird or strange.

A word of caution: public transportation can be havens for germs, bacteria and viruses. Consider that when you’re packing things for your kids. If items cannot be washed or properly sanitized during your trip or when you get home, it may be best to keep them at home. The security bear that’s more than a little tattered and would disintegrate in the wash? Leave him at home. He’s safer there.

As far as electronics and gadgets, be sure to load the iPad up with their favorite shows and movies. Make sure you DOWNLOAD them! Internets options are sketchy at best, so streaming may not be something you want to bank on. I’m not a mom who lets an electronic or TV screen babysit her kids. However, in a foreign environment that may cause anxiety or fear and result in emotional issues, movies can be a lifesaver! Be sure to pack child-appropriate headphones for the trip as a courtesy to your fellow passengers.

Survey the land

If you’re taking the littles with you, know that your getaway can’t be all about you. So, another great tip to successfully vacation with kids is to consider what child-friendly options are available in your destination city. Most major cities have a plethora of activities and attractions for kids. It may serve your experience well to do some research as you’re making plans.

Cities across the country—and around the world, really—are laced with attractions for families and kids. There are amazing zoos from San Diego to the Bronx, each with unique animals children of all ages would enjoy. For toy lovers, Legoland in Florida or the world’s largest toy museum in Missouri. Science kids will enjoy hours of activities at the California Academy of Science, while your super-sleuthing tots could enjoy the International Spy Museum in Washington, DC! Whatever your child’s interests, hobbies or talents, tap into them as you seek out your ideal travel destination.

If all else fails, know that theme parks like Disney World and Disneyland were practically created to provide hours of smiles for kids. With rides, games, food and characters for all ages, there’s a reason they’re called the “happiest place on earth.” There are distinct differences between the two, though. Make sure you plan for the one that’s best for your kids and family.

Resort to Resorts!

If you’re a working parent with a lot on your plate (and I TOTALLY get that), you may not have a great deal of time to research all the things to do in a city for a vacation with kids. That’s okay! You may want to consider having your vacation at an all-inclusive resort! That will take a HUGE load off because these places have already thought of everything.

Not only are your meals included with many of these resorts and hotels, but they also have tons of activities for kids (and adults) to enjoy. From kid-friendly pools and unlimited game centers to entertaining musical performances, face painting and toddler dance parties, your kids are sure to have a blast at any resort you choose. There are even some resorts that let kids 3 and younger stay for free!

An added bonus for many all-inclusive resorts is they have kids clubs and daycare services that allow adults to enjoy activities while care teams entertain your children. I know many parents may not be keen on this, but it’s an option. And let’s be honest—many of go on vacation because we need a BREAK! Using childcare services for your kids for a couple of hours may not be so bad—especially when you have peace of mind that your kids are having a blast without you! It’s worth considering, at least.

Vacations don’t happen every day, so plan yours with care. Consider what you need as well as what your kids need to have the ultimate experience as a family!

Keeping Kids Active: One Mother’s Take

Maybe it’s their boy-ness. It could possibly be the athletic genes in their DNA. Whatever it is, my boys have a LOT of it bottled up within them each day. And I need them to get it out! I have two active kids that have nothing but energy to expend day in and day out. Keeping kids active is all about allowing them to explore their creativity and letting them determine where they excel. It’s also beneficial to me! I spend less time chasing them and more time channeling positive ways to exhaust them first! in a roundabout way, that will help them sleep at night. As a mom, it is important to me to encourage and help my boys discover activities that will help them that energy appropriately. With that, I wanted to share a few things my boys are doing to stay active.

Muay Thai

One thing the boys have both enjoyed recently is Muay Thai. Once a week they have training sessions where they get stretched physically, mentally and emotionally. I like it because the stretching components allow them to lean into meditative practices before exerting any physical activity. But there are other soft skills they learn that I definitely think will aid in their development and growth. Muay Thai training allows my boys to see the importance of building on something weekly and developing resilience. They can practice week after week and get better at it with a little determination. That’s a giant lesson in itself!

Beyond that, Muay Thai helps students set goals and apply conflict resolution skills to social issues. Further, it teaches them the value of respect and respecting others. These are things I know they will need in life no matter what they choose to do. I’m so sure my two littles will appreciate them later on. They get all of this while being physical and exerting all their kiddie energy with each session.

Piano classes

While Muay Thai is very physical, I engage my active kids with not-so-physical activities, also. They’re both playing piano, and that keeps them involved beyond their lessons. Songs and music turn into dance parties and impromptu piano playing, and that’s fun for the entire family.

Like Muay Thai, playing piano enhances my boys on more than one level. The coordination needed stimulates brain activity and impacts positive mental health. Learning pieces of music helps boost self-esteem, while the concentration and focus needed to play help to improve their focus. Recent studies also show that playing the piano can even strengthen muscles in the hand and fingers, which is great for little active kids like my two!

How are my boys doing in these activities? Honestly, one is better at the piano, and the other enjoys Muay Thai more. And that’s perfectly fine! When they express interest in something, I want to encourage it as much as I can. And, I like the idea of keeping my boys in things together. It allows them to support each other when one thrives and the other doesn’t. Eventually, I may split them up as they grow. For now, though, I like that they can both experience things at different skill levels.

Other activities

I have recently encouraged my father to do more golfing with my sons. A part of that is getting more bonding time for my boys and their granddad. Also, I took lessons as a young child. It’s sort of a “legacy” sport in our family. It’s a great sport for keeping kids active, and it provokes them to practice and concentrate. Plus, they say many deals are made on the golf course. Maybe golf will have business advantages in their lives.

Golf is about as far as I am comfortable going when it comes to sports. My natural mommy inclination is to protect them and keep them from anything that could harm them. I really have to force myself to encourage rougher sports involvement. There’s keeping kids active in sports, and there’s putting them in activities that could do permanent damage. That line isn’t always clear. However, I have been leaning on trusted male figures in my boys’ lives to help me see the balance and positive aspects of sports. I’m coming around…very slowly.

The ocean and beach have always been a part of our lives. My kids started swimming when they were six months old. They’ve gone multiple times a week ever since. They both have different comfort levels than their peers and each other. My oldest really didn’t get into swimming until this summer (age 5). Again, that’s okay. Sometimes the “patience game” is about the kids, and sometimes parents have to play, also.

Keeping kids active can be achieved in many other ways. From modeling and acting to ballet and more, encourage whatever activities your kids gravitate to. Introduce them to multiple things, and take the time to see what sticks. They (and you) will find a groove and continue their personal momentum in no time!

World Vision “Chosen” – A New Initiative

If you’re a frequent reader of my blog, you know I have a lifelong history supporting and working with World Vision. My family and I have enjoyed decades of partnering with them. They have left indelible impressions on the global community. From personal development to emergency relief and public awareness, the organization’s track record speaks for itself. So when I heard about the World Vision “Chosen” initiative, I had no doubt that it would be transformative.

And it is!

Reversing roles

For decades, World Vision has provided individuals and families the opportunity to sponsor children in need. These children typically come from poverty-stricken areas of Africa, Latin America, eastern Europe and Asia. Sponsoring families support their child (or children) monthly and receive updates about their well-being. Collectively, the families have helped over three million children worldwide. That’s the type of organization I can get behind!

The World Vision “Chosen” project is an innovative extension of the child sponsorship opportunities they have spearheaded for years. However, there’s one slight (but AMAZING) twist to it: the sponsored children get to choose the sponsor! This is the opposite of how the organization has done kid-to-family matching in the past. It is a daring and really brilliant strategy!

The framework of the project is simple. People who want to be picked as sponsors sign up online. Then, they attend a “Choosing Party” to take photos of themselves for impoverished children to select. Instead of gathering photos of children in need, they gather photos of all sponsors. World Vision then shows the photos to the kids in need, and the kids choose the person or family with whom they want to connect. This “Chosen” change is so significant in many ways, and I couldn’t be prouder to be associated with this organization.

The significance of being “Chosen”

The World Vision “Chosen” program is not just another thing for the organization to do. The new format and focus makes several very powerful statements. First, it empowers sponsored kids to make decisions about their lives, which is so significant. Many of these precious children don’t have the power or right to make choices about things going on in their world. Giving them the right to select their sponsoring partner will hopefully plant a seed of self-significance in them that will open doors for various decisions in the future. I think that’s simply amazing.

“Chosen” validates the kids’ sense of connection with another, and that resonates with me as a mother and a global neighbor. This initiative allows them to say with their choice, “You matter, and you matter to me.” The interdependent love and mutual support that “Chosen” creates is so compelling, and that’s what I really love about this initiative.

I need your help spreading the word about the World Vision “Chosen” initiative. Watch the video, and consider being a sponsor for these beautiful children. Then, tell everyone you know about it! Lives are being changed and saved as you read this. Yours could be one of them.

My Design Inspiration and Influences

I was recently asked about where my personal design inspiration comes from, and what my major influences were. Honestly, I get inspiration from so many places and things. Moods, feelings, creative combinations in my mind…these all shape a great deal of how I do what I do. However, there are a few distinct people, places and ideas from which I’ve gathered recurring elements within my designs. Here are just a few.

Seeds from Mom

My professional style incorporates influences from several key design inspirations throughout my life. My mother was my first inspiration. I’ve always known her to be an artist. She created much of our home decor growing up—even some of the chandeliers! My mother always included me in many of her projects. That definitely planted a creative seed within me.

That seed blossomed a few different layers of initial design inspirations in me. I got an opportunity to open up my own retail store at age 18, and I decided I wanted to design the interior myself. I quickly realized that I enjoyed designing the store more than styling mannequins! From there I began staging luxury yacht interiors. This opportunity afforded me a great deal of autonomy to put my personal spin on the creative look of a space. More opportunities presented themselves, and before you know it, I started designing commercial and residential spaces.

After all of this, I ultimately decided to launch my own design business. However, none of this would or could have happened without my mom showing me the ropes. Her artistic endeavors inspired my own, and I will always be grateful to her for instilling creativity in me.

Summoned by the Sea

My design inspiration is also highly influenced by the beach and coastal living. I’ve always lived near the ocean, and I always will. The comfort of sand and sea breezes, the cool, vibrant colors of the ocean, the tranquil ambiance…they all speak to me personally and creatively.

The beach is unassumingly indulgent to me. Feeling the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair, the sand and water between my toes…they’re all indescribable sensations to me. Plus, it’s one of the most relaxing places for me. Whether it’s in the morning, mid-day or late in the evening, Visually, the mesh of bright and dark are so perfect, with cool blues and warm, sandy neutrals complementing each other perfectly. The coast is one of the most picturesque images the eye can behold.

From the emotions to the senses to the visuals, I’m enthralled by everything the beach and ocean create. That’s precisely the connection I want my clients to have with a space I create. I want everything from the floors to the cabinets, to the wallpaper to the lamps and couches—to captivate people. Their point of reference doesn’t have to be the ocean, but the mood and feeling of satiation should. My desire to have clients experience that with the space I create guides all of my choices for design with each project.

Motherhood and me

Interestingly, motherhood has also been a huge design inspiration for me. When I had my first son, I always wanted to make sure my home space was functional for my new family. Yet, I didn’t feel like I had to sacrifice elegance choices in design and home decor. I knew there had to be a middle ground.

I began incorporating elements to balance the different aspects of my life. I used stylish baskets that blended perfectly with my home decor, but secretly held my boy’s miscellaneous toys and favorites. His high chair was stylish and converted to grow with him as he aged. Balancing mommy and adult life wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be!

The multipurpose ideas kept flowing, and I adopted that philosophy as a creative mantra in my design projects. My clients live multifaceted lives, also. It is important to me to infuse practical sophistication in design ideas I curate for them. Creating spaces that maintain accessibility and opulence equally is now one of my design specialties, and I have a roster of clients who really appreciate that!

As you can see, my design inspiration runs the gamut from family to surroundings. What inspires you, either as a creative or someone looking to switch up your home design? I’d love to know what you consider when you think about creating your ultimate comfort space. Let me know in the comments!

Relationship Lessons: What A Practice Boyfriend Taught Me

Ask any divorced, single woman what relationship lessons she’s learned over the years. Before you do, grab a beverage and get comfortable. There are so many things I know now about who I am and what I want, and I know the insight came from my own experiences. I learned three key lessons over the past year or so that have solidified “me” in my eyes, and I think they are very valuable to other women who may be on the other side of divorce.

Lesson One: No Fear

At the end of last year, I found myself a divorced woman who hadn’t really dated. That wasn’t atypical, but I didn’t like it. So, I set a New Year’s resolution to try my hand at seeing someone. No, I wasn’t ready for another marriage. But I saw nothing wrong with having someone special, a “practice boyfriend,” if you will. (Let’s refer to him as PB.) It had been three years. I didn’t want to completely harden myself, and this was a way to let someone in a little more and soften it a bit.

It lasted half a year.

But that’s okay! It set up one of the first post-divorce relationship lessons I learned, which is not to set my intentions based on my fears. We’ve all heard the expression, you won’t know until you try. Sometimes “trying” makes a mess on the other side of it, and that’s never fun. We divorcees know that all too well. We have clearly loved and lost, and the thought of losing again can be terrifying.

“Terrified” describes exactly how I felt. I hated thinking about potentially having to break up with somebody. I felt anxious about putting myself in a position to possibly be hurt again, even a little bit. Plus, I hated to admit that I wanted love in my life again. All of these feelings and fears come with starting a relationship. But really, they go with any goal or thing we set out to do or have, especially if we have tried them before. Scars can paralyze us, and more so if they remind us of past failures. But that’s only if we let them. 

Lesson Two: The Kids Are Alright

My adventures with PB extended the relationship lessons to people who, besides myself, would be impacted by my involvement. The most important of those were my kids! I had to start thinking about what introducing my kids to a new someone would look like. I wasn’t sure what that would even look or feel like to them. They had only known or seen their father, my ex, being close to me. Not done the right way, bringing a romantic partner around them could have devastating consequences for them and my relationship with them.

I didn’t think about it differently until my nanny showed me a different light. She told me, “If you don’t introduce your boys to someone soon, you’ll never be able to introduce them to anybody. It will be much easier while they’re young. They’re going to get older, and they may not accept anyone if you don’t just do it.”  That was an eye-opener for me. I can’t wait until they’re 8 and 10 to bring the first man who’s not their father around. It won’t be fair to them, to my significant other, or to me.

Being in a relationship made me more aware of male presence around my kids. Though I was (and still am somewhat) hesitant about it, I am starting to open up my eyes to a significant male presence in their lives. I think it will normalize the situation for them, so that when the right man comes along, it won’t feel strange or intrusive. Plus, I get to decide what interaction between my partner and my kids looks like. My comfort level will dictate what my kids see and experience.

We don’t have to hold hands, kiss or even be “romantic” in front of them. They don’t even know what that means at their ages! So while I’m still being cautious, I won’t sacrifice the importance of having positive male figures in their lives because feelings and love bring more nuances into our interaction with my boys. No, it didn’t happen with PB, but it may happen with someone in the future. Whenever that happens, I know I can maneuver the situation in a way that will be good and healthy for my sons. They’re going to be okay.

Lesson Three: Boundaries Bring Clarity

Perhaps the most significant of the relationship lessons with PB was a personal revelation about myself. I learned I have some concrete boundaries regarding what I’m willing to give and deal with, and what I am not. I learned in a fairly short amount of time that my relationship with PB did not check all the boxes I needed it to. When I realized that, I was able to say with confidence and strength, “Actually, I’m good without this.”

Listen, I loved PB as a person. As a single mom with a business to run, there’s simply no room to play around when it comes to my time and my heart. I don’t have time for anything that’s even a little bit dramatic. That’s a hard boundary for me, and I’m not willing to give on it. I felt like a villain breaking things off, being completely transparent. But as a dating single mom, I realize my give-and-take parameters were a lot stronger and much more clearly defined than they were when I dated before. And, they were way more apparent than I thought they were.

That’s a great lesson for all dating divorced women. By all means, double down and and communicate about everything. At the end of the day, though, if you both are not speaking the same language, let it go, and learn that sooner than later. Every person will bring their own baggage into a situation. But if your baggage doesn’t match his, it may be best to just walk with the ones you know how to handle: your own!

My time with PB was interesting, but it was more eye-opening for me. I’m sure the next situation will hold epiphanies of its own, also.

But that will be for another blog entry. 😉

Host the Best Kids Halloween Party Ever!

What do mummies like to listen to on Halloween? Give up? Wrap music! I know…it’s a little cheesy, but silly fun is what this season is all about! October 31 is right around the corner, and I have the perfect kids Halloween party ideas to make your holiday spooky, fun and festive!

Costumes: Keep ‘Em Simple

Parents, for a kids Halloween party, don’t go crazy with your own costumes. Why put yourself through that? Never underestimate the power of a paper crown, mask or creative DIY little tail when it comes to a child’s imagination. They are simple adornments for parents, but they’re also fun and playful. Yet, they don’t take much time or energy.

Gone are the days of elaborate outfits that steal the show but have extravagant price tags or require too much effort. Try something as simple as a cat! Grab some pipe cleaners or wire and garland, bend them a bit — you’re an angel or fairy! There are very easy ways to allow your kids to think you’re dressed up without adding a layer of discomfort for yourself. Because you have to be able to move quickly with your kids, especially among a crowd of kids, you want something easy.

That being said, I do encourage all parents to wear some sort of costume, even if it’s just painting a heart on your cheek. Better yet, grab your red lipstick, put two circles on your cheek, and you’re a baby doll! A kids Halloween party is the perfect time for kids to really see creativity in action. The bonus is you don’t have to go above and beyond to show it!

Food for Thought

We all know that candy is the star of the show this time of year, and your kids Halloween party will be no different. Considering the fact that kids are going to eat a load of candy when they go out, your party is not the time to incorporate extra sweets. Most parties include cupcakes, sugary drinks…that kind of thing. Skip that for the party. The kids are going to be collecting enough sweets around the neighborhood to last them months. Let their “bounty bags” from the neighborhood collection be the primary sugar source.

For a kids Halloween party, I like to make sure I have something as simple as a soup, salad, or pizza available for guests. I know pizza is probably not the healthiest dish you could serve kids. But most kids love pizza. It’s cheap, it’s filling, and it’s super easy to clean up.

I think one thing to consider, parents, is that some kids may have food allergies. I always ask parents about their kids’ allergies beforehand. Before you give a kid ANYTHING, you should, too. Let parents know the ingredients of the foods you’re serving. If your menu includes ingredients that won’t accommodate some kids, do what I do: open up your refrigerator or pantry, and let the parents choose something that may be good for their child.

All the activities!

Make sure there are activities at your kids Halloween party appropriate for all ages. Consider the smaller kids who prefer creative activities versus more active play. Crayons, pencils, stickers, and art activities allow kids to interact based on their own creativity. I would avoid pulling out the Legos, though. They can be problematic when there are younger children around.

Have activities for older kids, too. But you know what? I have a “trick” of my own for some of the older, more responsible kids. I empower them to help out with younger kids! I keep a few five-dollar bills around for special “party helpers” who pass popsicles out or hand out treat bags. Having responsible kids do some of the legwork helps alleviate planning so many activities, which would ultimately result in after-party chores for YOU! This is a huge win-win. It makes them feel a little more grown-up, and they get a different kind of “treat” at the end of the night. At the same time, you get more helping hands!

Speaking of activities, make sure you have an escape room (no, not that kind!) for parents who may need a break from the festivities. Parents may need a place away from the action to settle an upset or sleepy child. I use my boys’ room as a “time out” space or break room for parents who may need it. I’ve found that parents really appreciate that.

Kids Halloween parties can be loads of fun, but only if you do the work of thinking about everything well in advance. Think about these tips as you prepare to dress your tikes up for trick-or-treating. Let me know your favorite Halloween costumes and party games in the comments. This time of year, sharing is scaring!

(Real) Wedding Registry Must-Haves

When I look back on my wedding, I think about all the things I did right, and maybe a few things I would do differently today. One of the things I encourage my engaged friends (and anyone considering marriage) to consider a different way is their wedding registry. I remember looking back at all the things we received that we rarely (or never) used. It made me think about the money that could have been used better. There’s so much to think about when you ponder all the blessings cherished friends and family could give to support your new life. Here are a few non-traditional thoughts that may guide your ideas for wedding gifts in a more sincere way.

Cut the China

When our parents got married, one of the more elegant requests was a nice set of fine china. The rationale made sense: everyone needed “good china” for entertaining or special occasions. And, they most likely kept it displayed in a nice display cabinet or hutch. China is a traditionally prized family possession that has been known to be passed down from generation to generation. It’s no wonder why couples have it on their wedding registry. If you ask around, though, you will find that people rarely use the “good china” for entertaining. It’s almost as if people see it as too fancy nowadays.

Aside from an occasional Thanksgiving or Christmas holiday, entertaining isn’t seen as a formal activity. So while it may be nice to have a set of fine china to say you have it, the reality is it may do nothing more than take up space in your new home. Chances are, if you don’t have any now, you won’t miss it. Plus, fine china can be rather expensive per setting. After counting up the cost of a full set of good china, consider what other things you could get that you would use much more regularly for that price. Is it nice to have? Of course. Do you need it? Not at all.

Request Sets

Just because fine china may not be something you need in no way means you shouldn’t consider having full sets of dinnerware. Of course you should! As one-half of a new relationship duo, single habits won’t serve you anymore. Definitely exchange the mismatched plastic cups and random silverware pieces you’ve collected for full sets of tableware.

You WILL want to entertain as a couple. So, your wedding registry should have glassware and cutlery requests in sets of eight. This will provide enough to use for a dinner party, for a nice meal with the in-laws, or for a quiet meal with just the two of you. Be sure to include a nice set of wine glasses, as well. They’re a classy staple that every new couple should have when guests come over. When choosing universal cutlery, don’t forget to add a set of serving utensils. They will aid in better food or meal presentations when you have guests.

Try Online Wedding Registry Services

Dish sets aside, I would recommend any to-be-married couple to consider one of the many options available to use online wedding registry services. These companies allow couples to make an all-in-one spot where wedding guests can support the newlyweds with gift ideas for the home. Yes, you will still have some more traditional guests who buy gifts (that you probably didn’t ask for), but an online wedding registry will point your family and friends in the direction of items you truly desire.

Sites like Honeyfund and Zola allow couples to put together hybrid lists of traditional and innovative wedding gifts. Guests can opt to purchase typical gifts like bedding or kitchen items. Or, they can financially support the honeymoon or another experience the couple wants to have as newlyweds. Another great option is to set up a cash fund so that the couple can use the money for things they may want or need, but don’t feel comfortable asking for.

My fiancé and I really needed a couch for our new space, but we didn’t want to put that on our registry. (And we didn’t think anyone would get it.) Using one of these wedding registry sites would have allowed us to send a link to a cash fund where guests could contribute. You may want new wallpaper, or you may not even want guests to know what your needs are. Online services will provide privacy, options and the peace of mind that you’ll actually get things you need—and want.

Other Ideas?

This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means. However, it should offer a different, more useful mindset when it comes to your wedding registry. What are your thoughts? Do you have any leftover wedding gifts that you never used? If you’ve tried any online wedding registry services, how was your experience? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Create an Extreme Makeover for the Fifita Family!

My journey with Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on HGTV has been so wonderful.

With each build, I get to work with some extremely talented designers, carpenters and selfless volunteers to bring hope and happiness to deserving families in need. Each of these families have needs of their own. However, each of them gives so much to their own communities despite unmet needs of their own! The sacrifices these families make for others have impacted lives, hearts and communities in countless ways. That is a prime motivation for me to go beyond my best and up the ante when it comes to design. Our build for the Fifita family is no different!

The Fifita Family

When I heard the Fifita family’s story, my heart leaped with excitement. Brian and Lisa Fifita have been great parents for their own five kids. But they go out of their way to give whatever they have to their community. I mean that LITERALLY: all of the kids in their Tongan community!

Brian and Lisa are considered the “YMCA” of their neighborhood because of their dedication to the youth in their community. They have made it a personal mission to use their home as a refuge from drugs, violence and gangs for troubled kids. They use their home as an alternative place to hang out or stay the night. They’ve housed up to 23 kids at one time. Plus, they provide food, games, resources, blankets…anything these kids need.

The Fifitas’ only goal has been to provide a shelter of safety for the kids in surrounding neighborhoods. Their open-door care for the community kids has made such a positive impact on the kids’ lives. Because of the Fifitas, many of the youth have gone on to college and started families of their own.

Giving Back

What I love about the Fifita family, as with the other Extreme Makeover families, is that they consider the needs of others before their own needs. Even though their home was in disrepair, Brian helped create a “home makeover” for another family in need. The family remodeling the inside and outside of the home through donations secured by their oldest daughter, Sia, and volunteered time from everyone in the family.

Brian also helped boys in the community earn their Eagle Scout ranks. He and Lisa received the Parents’ Hero Award for their “commitment and dedication to…educational excellence” for their kids and the kids in their community. They have done so much for everyone in their community. It’s only fitting that they receive the gift of a new home for themselves and their extended “community” family, also!

Let’s Help the Fifita Family Together!

The Fifitas have big hearts and big dreams for the youth in their community. Likewise, HGTV, the Extreme Makeover Team and I have big plans to give Brian and his family a home beyond their imagination! But we need your time, talents and assistance to make it happen! Come join us and the Piston Construction team on Saturday, September 28, as we finalize furniture move-in for the new Fifita family home. Then on Sunday, September 29, come celebrate with everyone as we “MOVE THAT BUS” for the big reveal! It’s going to be such a great time, and I would love to have your involved! Every hand helps us tremendously, and every hour of participation is greatly appreciated. Know that your time and talents will be used to create fond memories for an amazing and very appreciative family in need.

I hope to see you there!

No Participation Trophies: Raising Strong Children

We can all agree that our world is a tough one to live in at times. It only takes a few minutes of watching the news to witness a fraction of all the atrocities occurring worldwide. It was always disheartening to see as a global citizen, but after becoming a mom all I could think about were my children. I switched my focus from the worldwide and country-wide news to circumstances right here in my own communities. I started talking to other parents about what concerned them. Of all the responses I received, one was on everyone’s list. We all wanted to know the secret to raising strong children. How could we ensure we were doing a good job of it? There are a few key places to start.

Don’t Fear the Unfair

When we have children, many of us fill our minds with all the precious moments we’re going to have with them. The thought of that new baby smell, those little chubby cheeks and even the first words and steps bring smiles to our faces. Rarely do we think of the harder, more complicated stages. Well, maybe we should. It’s inevitable, after all. Those cute little cherubs will grow into toddlers and adolescents, and we will have to explain to them why life isn’t always fun or fair. I often wonder if we have failed them by not preparing more for those conversations. 

Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

We all want to protect our kids from the things that hurt and “go bump in the night.” But protection can only exist if we recognize it’s needed. Raising strong children begins with us. We have to start embracing the difficult conversations. My advice is to start with what you encounter. For example, my kids come from a multiracial family. They have white grandparents, a biracial mom, aunt and uncle, and the ethno-diversity doesn’t stop there!

They also spend time in places where there aren’t always a ton of other kids that look like them. This means that not only my boys, but also the kids around them are often confronted with a very innocent question: “Why do I look different?” Tackling this has been easy for me, but I’ve watched other parents scramble to find an answer that would be politically correct.

Listen, we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. When a kid on the playground comments on my kid’s curly hair, I don’t make a big deal out of it. I say things like, “Yes Kingsley has really beautiful curly hair and you have really beautiful straight hair! Isn’t it cool that we are all so different because of our backgrounds? If my boys have additional questions, we discuss what it means to have different parents or genes. Once they have an understanding, my kids typically just move on to whatever it was they were doing before. Simple as that.

The questions will continue, and they will increase in difficulty, but parents can’t hide their heads in the sand when challenging topics arise. Let’s hold each other accountable for raising strong children, and not shy away from being strong parents.

Letting Our Kids Fail

We love our children fiercely, and the desire to protect our little cubs is one that almost automatically comes with being a parent. What I’m about to tell you will go completely against that instinct, so brace yourselves. Sometimes raising strong children means letting them fail.

Our kids are going to take part in a multitude of contests and competitive activities over the course of their childhood lives. There will be countless relay races, science fairs, book reading contests, birthday party games, etc. Whether educational or recreational, at the end every kid gets a trophy or reward. There is no more first, second and third place. Now, everyone’s a winner of some sort. We’re well-meaning. We assume we’re only guarding our children’s self esteem. But not allowing our children to fail only prevents them from understanding that sometimes in life failure WILL happen. It impedes their learning how to cope in a healthy way with situations that don’t feel so good. 

Building Character

“Failure” by itself sounds like a nasty word. Somewhere along the way we’ve decided that it’s something to be avoided at all costs. You’ll maybe remember that some of the greatest skills you now have came from the lessons you learned when you failed once or twice. No one is going to be perfect at everything, and even those who are experts had to fail a few times to get to that level. Giving children a trophy every time they attempt something only teaches them that failing is something that can be bypassed.

How do you get to the lesson and the learning if you’re always perfect at each thing you try? Let your children fail. A few alligator tears over not being the winner on field day won’t be the end of the world. It will often only make them work harder if it’s something they want badly. Your kid will be great at many activities, and awful at others. Allowing them to discover which is which is a valuable part of life. Trust me, you’ll only be proud when they discover that hard work and perseverance are must-do’s in order to become better and stronger.

Raising Strong Children

I wrote Carbie because I wanted children to have a book that would teach them what happens when they endure hard times and come out on the other side. Pressure is sometimes needed in order to make something beautiful. In a dreamworld my kids would have only happy moments, and life would be easy. In reality, I know they will have struggles. My goal is to ensure they have the tools to weather the storms life throws at them. It’s okay to fail. It’s actually more than okay; it is likely. Preparing our children for rough moments is how we build character and fortitude. I haven’t met a parent yet that doesn’t want that. Let’s think twice before handing out participation trophies. Our future generations will be better for it!