Author: Breegan Jane

I don’t think I’ll ever stop talking about the way travel enriches life. Yes, we can all agree that discovering new places is fun. I mean, who doesn’t love a change of scenery from time to time? But traveling for my family is so much more than just recreation. It has the ability to shift and change our perspectives in more ways than most realize. One of the most impactful parts of traveling outside of the States is the expansion of the way we perceive differences. I’ve found myself unusually intuitive regarding this topic, and I’d love to explore it with you in today’s blog.

The Benefits of Traveling

I always wanted to raise kids who would spend summers with me in Europe. Now, seeing as how I am not from Europe, this might strike many as strange. However, I’ve been traveling since I was a kid, and the experiences that I’ve had are invaluable. In fact, so many of my closest friends live all over the globe, and I attribute that to my passion for travel that I’ve had my entire life. I wanted my kids to be able to experience that as well. So they’ve been on airplanes since they were newborns!

If you’re able, I’d advise you to travel any and everywhere that piques your interest. Of course by now you know my favorite place in the world is Ibiza, Spain. I’ve talked at length about how it inspires my design aesthetic. My kids and I travel there a few times a year, and we typically spend a couple months on the island in the summer. I love watching Ibiza become their second home.

Different is a Compliment

One of the things I’ve noticed in Ibiza and other countries is the way other cultures use and view the word: “different.” When we’re in another place people often look at my sons’ hair and they say, “Their hair is so different!” I watch as the kind strangers’ eyes widen and light up as they describe the hair texture. I’ve gotten that about my own hair as well. If I’m wearing a unique necklace or pair of earrings, they say: “That’s so different!” and they want to know more about it. So, as maybe back home that would be a cause for suspicion to many, here it was admiration and genuine curiosity.

People are commenting on something they have never seen before. It’s new and fascinating, and they want to learn about it. Those statements are accompanied by questions, and the intention behind them becomes clear. They are having a novel experience, and they want to embrace it. Sadly, that’s not always the case back at home.

An Intolerance for Differences

The reason all of that stuck out to me in the first place was because of the way differences are viewed and handled in the States. Here, different isn’t a compliment. It’s weird, discouraged and often said as an insult. Don’t believe me? Think about the girl who bullied others in highschool. The first thing people do in those situations is point out differences. Kids exclude others because someone looks different, acts differently, or exists in a different socioeconomic class…and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But kids aren’t where it ends. 

How many times have you heard someone else or even yourself say things like, “I can’t eat that. It’s too different!” Or maybe you’ve heard it said with a sassy attitude that implied far more than just something being diverse. 

“Their family is just…different.”

We all know the tone there, and we know enough to realize it’s never said or meant as flattery. “Different” in these examples is divisive. It’s a way to put a boundary up or to express disinterest. That’s a far cry from the people in other places who want to know the origin story behind something they’re encountering for the first time. 

Beauty in Diversity

When did we get so far from appreciating the beauty in differences? When my boys and I travel, whether domestically or internationally, we love to point out all the ways each place is similar and different from what we’re accustomed to back home. I want them to welcome the features of each place and develop an appreciation for them.

The beauty of uniqueness is what makes the world go ‘round. Think about our ecosystem and how vast it is. So many elements keep it healthy and thriving. If one part of the system ceases to exist, the entire system is in danger. It’s the differences in the plants and animals that keep the whole of it all healthy. We, as a society, should be functioning much like that.

Different in Design

I have always found an intolerance for differences to be so odd. Maybe it’s because my own origin story is so unique. Or maybe because when you’ve traveled all over you realize no place or people are exactly alike, and that’s the wonderful part of it. In interior design, being different is viewed as a good thing. There’s space for weird and strange in our community. I can put disco balls in my kitchen without people batting an eye. In certain luxury markets (cars, fine leather goods, etc) “different” is even marketed as a selling point. These are the only places I’ve experienced it as a good thing. I think it’s time to change that.

Making Different Cool Again

I have a challenge for you. This week I want you to tell someone something they have on, a hairstyle, a fragrance or anything else is “different.” I want you to genuinely mean it as a compliment. Be curious! Ask them about it and be interested in the answer. Wholeheartedly mean it. Let’s see if we can shift the connotation and become a nation of people who appreciate variety, diversity and differences. Chat with me about it on my socials!

When I look at the life I have and the opportunities I have been afforded, I am reminded of how my life’s story has been a unique one in almost every way since birth. The unexpected twists and turns have not always been happy ones, but I am certain they have directed me exactly to where I was meant to be. The best news is my career path and story? Well those pages are still being written, and I can’t wait to see what’s in my next chapter! In the meantime, I think of all the messages I receive on an almost daily basis asking me about how I started my career as a designer. People ask how I became an interior designer for HGTV, and how they can figure out where to start to reach their own goals. Well buckle up, because today we’re going to talk about finding your career path and making your dreams a reality!

When the (Career) Path is Uncertain

One of the biggest things many of us share is a fear or discomfort around the “unknowns” in our lives. How many moments have you spent wondering about how things will turn out? Ruminating thoughts bounce around in our minds regarding relationships, projects, work and other important life aspects. Each of them is wrapped in a common cloud of mystery. We never quite know how things will progress. However, accepting that navigating uncharted territory is part of the process might just be the first step on the way to finding your career path. 

Potential Prospects Could Be Perfect

Spoiler alert: things don’t turn out exactly as you imagine them. Even bigger spoiler: that’s okay. In fact, it’s perfect. Listen, as much as we often wish we had a crystal ball to answer some of those somersaulting thoughts we just finished identifying, it just isn’t realistic. Life unfolds in its own way. When it does, like your swim instructor taught you, don’t swim against the current. 

When I was younger, I was sure I would grow up to become a neonatal nurse. I loved babies, and I wanted to care for them all the time. As I got older I discovered that the job I wanted involved sometimes caring for sick babies who would pass away. I knew I couldn’t handle that part of the job, so my thoughts about my possible career path changed. Little did I know, that would be one of many surprises life had in store for me.

Pointless to Plan?

When I became pregnant with my first child, I decided almost immediately that I wanted to wait to learn the sex of our baby until the birth. Unexpected complications and necessary extra ultrasounds thwarted my plans. I was convinced I was having a girl with both of my pregnancies. So, imagine my shock when “It’s a BOY!” was blurted out to me on both occasions! Of course, I was thrilled to be having healthy babies of either sex, but like many other moms, hopes of all the girly activities my daughters and I could do together were promptly dashed and replaced with more stereotypical “boy” ones. Once again, life had a perfect plan in store.

My two boys have been the biggest blessings in so many ways. I understand so much more about men after becoming a mom to sons. There are certain innate tendencies and personality traits that just make sense to me now! Additionally, we encourage embracing both masculine AND feminine energy along with comfortable gender expression without societal limits. Because of this, I never “missed out” on anything by having my precious sons. We’re able to enjoy any of the activities they’re interested in, and trust me, those options are endless. I have chronicled my experience of being a boy mom and through that process I’ve been able to help so many moms along their parenting journeys! Being a radio show host and lifestyle expert and blogger was a part of my career path that I could have never predicted. The lesson? Set goals and work towards them, but remember that you often hold only pieces of life’s puzzle. Leave room for the ones you haven’t encountered yet.

Natural Talent: A Hiding Place For a Career Path

I have talked about my start in Hollywood as a child actor and model. I’ve even talked about owning my retail store as a teenager. All of these parts of my upbringing were foreshadowing my future preoccupation with the creative field. But, I can see that even smaller instances were indications of how my career path would develop. I would go visit friends’ homes and rearrange their parents’ furniture in a more aesthetically pleasing configuration while they were away. Friends would ask me to come look at their vacation homes and give suggestions on how to make it appear larger or what modifications to make to the design. Only later would I put those skills to use and open my own interior design firm, Breegan Jane LLC!

My parents knew even before I did that I was comfortable in front of the camera. That, coupled with my desire to help others and aptitude for all things creative, would lead to being asked to be an HGTV interior designer on the network’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I was able to utilize my natural talents in a way that helped deserving families get new homes. When you’re searching for the career that suits you, ask yourself what interests you hold. The areas where you excel might be where your answer is lurking!

Remain Open 

I’ve always had an ability to view a space and see what it could be in ways others couldn’t imagine. I discovered that transforming a blank slate into a work of art was a skill that not everyone possesses and that it could have an incredible effect on my career trajectory. It didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t immediately obvious. I didn’t grow up with a plan to be an HGTV interior designer. I leaned into my natural interests, abilities and savvy. Those, along with an openness to what life had for me allowed me to find my career path. If you’re searching for yours, consider following those tips. The journey may mature in ways you would never have expected, but the ride? Well it’s always worth it!

What do you want to be when you grow up?  I’m sure all of us can remember sitting in an elementary school classroom and being asked that very question by a teacher. If you caught my feature on Mini Magazine last week, you likely saw that as a kid I wanted to be a neonatal nurse. Once I learned of how many tragic experiences those professionals encounter in that career, I quickly changed my mind. However, the one thing that never quite left my head and heart was motherhood. I have always been maternal, and I could not wait to have my own littles running around! A recent trip to New York City reminded me of the plans I made for my motherhood journey way before I became a mom. I could have never predicted the surprises life had in store for me. I’m happy to share a few of them with you in today’s blog.

Pregnant With Expectation

Like so many expectant mothers, I was ecstatic when I discovered I was pregnant. Several dreams floated around in my mind about what kind of mom I’d be, and what experiences I’d have with my future child(ren). I won’t lie to you. I wanted girls. With both of my pregnancies I predicted I was having girls. 

As you can see from the above photo, I was very wrong, lol. I was blessed with two adorable baby boys. While I was thrilled to have my healthy bouncing babies, I assumed I would have to mourn some of the wishes I previously had when I thought I’d be a girl mom. What life showed me was that motherhood is a journey equally full of anticipation and shock. I was about to get one of the biggest unexpected lessons of my life.

A Fashionable Trip to the Big Apple

In mid April of this year I set out on a work trip that would span the course of several weeks. I headed to the East Coast to participate in an event called Design on a Dime. I brought my boys with me for this trip to New York City, and they had a blast. We traveled to New York, then to High Point, North Carolina, and then back to New York, so you can imagine what our luggage was like! Because I knew it would be chilly both on the plane and at our destination, I had the boys each wear one of my fur coats. This proved to be extremely helpful when it came to saving space in our suitcases! But, it drew my attention to something much bigger than packing efficiency. 

During our time in New York, the boys and I (and even their grandmother!) kept busy with several fun adventures. They visited the Statue of Liberty, saw a few shows, and even took a carriage ride through the city. I watched as they walked down those Manhattan streets, owning them as if they were their own personal catwalk. These kids proudly wore my fur coats without thinking anything of it, and they rocked the look! While the kids got to explore the city with grandma, mommy had to work. I took a few meetings and met with companies I would be partnering with. In one of those meetings I selected a few jewelry pieces that I wore for a photoshoot. Later that night when I arrived back at our hotel, my boys took notice of the accessories and decided they wanted to wear them the next day. 

Tossing Gender Norms

You’re probably wondering what any of these escapades have to do with my motherhood experience. Well, when I was pregnant and wishing for a girl, I pictured matching “mommy-and-me” ensembles, sharing my jewelry, and cute dates to the nail salon. Never in a million years would I have imagined I’d be walking through New York with my sons donning bejeweled tiger and cheetah necklaces and fur coats! 

Last year during a visit to Lake Arrowhead, my sons and I stopped into the cutest little eccentric boutique. It was the kind of store that sold “fabulous grandma chic”, and we were all about it! Kingsley found a cool electric blue jacket that he loved and tried it on. I heard the sales associate tell him to “stop playing around and take it off.” I guess she thought it was inappropriate for a little boy to wear something originally designed for a woman. But, fashion isn’t about gender.

The mama bear in me emerged, ready to protect my innocent Kingsley. I told him he could have it if he liked it. Both of my boys left that store with jackets they liked that day. We had the blue suede jacket and tie-dyed jacket hemmed so they would fit the kids, and both boys proudly wear them each chance they get. Our time in N.Y. made me reminisce on that encounter, and I realized that my little family has never played by the traditional gender rules. We don’t subscribe to that.

Unexpected Adventures in Motherhood

Do your kids shock you with their interests? Mine do, daily. They love trips to the nail salon. I don’t think they’re ever as quiet as they are when they’re getting pampered. I sit between them while we get pedicures. Kingsley gets no polish, but Kensi likes green on his toenails. These were experiences I thought I’d only have with daughters. After all, when I was pregnant no one was talking about sharing necklaces with their sons! Now, we regularly see bold looks on men at red carpet events and parties. No one bats an eye when Steven Tyler wears eyeliner. It wasn’t strange when Prince wore ruffles and heels. We just accepted their avant-garde style. Motherhood, and more specifically being a mom to two boys has taught me lessons about my own preconceived notions and biases around gender. I didn’t expect to have boys who love accessorizing with mommy’s pearls and taking care of their own jewelry collection! But that’s the beauty of it all. Life creates opportunities for you to have the moments you’re supposed to have, even if they don’t occur the way you envisioned them.

Creating Connectedness

Our time in New York was amazing, and it sparked so much internal reflection. When I was dreaming of all these sweet moments I wanted to have with a little girl, I was so focused on those occasions being specific to moms and daughters, that I couldn’t open myself up to the possibility of what I have now. I realize it was never about gender at all! Instead, I was searching for connection points with my kids. I wanted to share passions and interests with them. That’s something I do today, on a regular basis with my seven and nine year old sons. I’m so grateful that life worked out this way. Turns out, I needed exactly what I received. So, if you’re an expectant mom, just be sure to allow things to unfold. Motherhood is full of surprises, and you’re built for every single one of them.