There isn’t a mom among us who doesn’t want the absolute best for her children. We’re all doing the very best we can to raise great humans. Hopefully they will grow up to make this world a much better place than it was when they entered it. So, on our quest to improve the planet by proxy (lol), we tackle all sorts of lessons. We teach general kindness, tolerance, manners…you know, all the basic tenets of decency. We teach our children about safety and health. And if we’re really wise, we teach them about finances and interpersonal relationships. But, with all of this instruction I rarely see parents eager to talk to their little ones about masculine and feminine energy. What’s more, I almost never see feminine energy in boys embraced or celebrated. I think that’s a mistake, and I’ll tell you why.
It Takes Two
I’ve encountered many people who seem to take issue with the fact that I believe and find great happiness in the fact that my two boys are capable of expressing femininity. Those individuals would prefer I cut their hair when it is long. They would prefer that I refuse their requests of polished nails from time to time.
Now, don’t get me wrong. My sons seem to exhibit strong masculine energy more often than not, but I want them to know and experience their femininity freely. After all, we all have it. In fact, we have both. In all of us there lies masculine and feminine energy. The two work together in a yin-yang kind of way to make us the complex beings we are. The notion of only teaching girls to be soft, only teaching boys to be strong and never the twain shall meet is antiquated and useless. Those contrasting parts of us help aid in the development of various skills and our ability to think and process concepts and ideas differently. No one benefits from the suppression of such valuable internal systems.
Rethink and Reprogram
We must challenge double standards around masculine and feminine energy. In many instances it is more widely accepted for little girls to be gifted robots or superheroes with lasers than it is for little boys to play with dolls. This sends an unhealthy message to our children about what is okay, socially. I am, by today’s standards, a heterosexual woman who carries a lot of masculine energy. I take on a lot of traditional masculine roles in my home life, and my boys don’t view it as strange. At times, I am an extremely “girly girl,” and at others my grit and valor are on full display. My sons don’t raise an eyebrow at either. They only see a woman who expresses all sides of who she is and is not limited by a so-called societal norm.
There are several men, who as full-fledged adults, struggle with communicating their emotions. They were simply never taught how to. Others were strongly discouraged against it, with clear messaging that to do so would make them akin to women. Therefore, to be like a woman was unfavorable, weak, less than. Are those the kind of values we wish to pass along to our kids? I would hope not. If we’re going to raise our boys to grow to be men who love and respect women, who see women as strong and capable, we must first teach them that femininity is natural, and it is esteemed. Femininity is often what allows one to identify and explore their emotions. It is often what allows connection to individuals with dissimilar experiences from our own. We want to raise a healthy generation of young people, but that can’t happen if we aren’t teaching our boys to understand and appreciate their own feminine energy.
Embracing Feminine Energy
If you’re wondering where to begin when it comes to nurturing feminine energy in your boys, don’t worry, you’re most likely overthinking it already. Start by paying attention to the things your child is naturally drawn to, and allowing him to explore the activity a bit. In my boys, I tend to see softer expressions displayed in them artistically. They come to me asking to try projects like jewelry making, painting or even baking. When they do, we give it a shot! Kingsley always had baby dolls when he was younger, and Kensi has no problem loudly proclaiming that the color pink is for anyone who wants to wear it. We don’t compartmentalize those types of things, we have fun with them. Purposely seek out and watch movies with your boys with female leads and heroines. Reject the idea that there are “girl movies” and “boy movies.” These are small ways that you can reshape harmful beliefs about women and femininity with your kids.
We are all multifaceted beings with much to give to this world. Every unique part of us exists for a reason. Traditional characteristics may be easier to spot in our kids because of our own biases, but stifling an innate essence, virtue or interest in someone simply because of an outdated standard isn’t propelling us forward. It’s holding us back. Feminine energy is a gift. It is no better or worse than masculine energy. The sooner we can all accept that, the better our entire world will be. Let’s start the process today.