Author: Breegan Jane

Buying a New House: What You Should REALLY Consider

As I work on home projects for various clients, I’m always fascinated by the different thought processes couples and individuals have in the process of buying a new house. I am amazed at both what I hear and don’t hear (but SHOULD) regarding must-haves and deal-breakers. Individual preferences and priorities run the gamut, and that’s perfectly fine.

As a home designer, there are some tips and tricks I’ve realized over the years that can help save time, money and headaches when considering a new home purchase.

Get Your Mind off Minutia

Buying a new home is a really big deal. There’s so much to consider with such an extended commitment. There are so many little details to think about. But then again, there are some other small details that you really shouldn’t worry about when looking for your new home.

My first tip is to look past things that are easy to change. For example, let’s say you’re not fond of the handles on drawers, doorknobs and cabinets. Or, you may not like the color of the front door or the chandelier and light fixtures. These things shouldn’t disqualify a home for purchase (and you’d be surprised how much I hear them). A few cans of paint, a trip to Home Depot, or a few clicks on Amazon can easily change those elements.

What you can’t change is the layout of the kitchen or the overall floor plan. Changing those may cost you more than you’ve budgeted. My point is simple: consider the things you can’t change, not the things you can, when you’re looking for the home of your dreams. Try to let the little things disappear. If the home checks off your priority needs but could use small finishes, I highly recommend you keep that home as a consideration. Minor touches can be fixed later, but the layout of the home and maybe that gorgeous backyard might not be so easily modified.

It’s an “All-Around” Investment

Buying a new house should not be an impulsive purchase, yet, many treat it as such. Your home is a really serious investment, and much careful thought needs to go into acquiring the perfect home. In fact, you should think about more than just the home itself.

There are some questions I think to-be homeowners should ponder. Where are you in life right now? How will your lifestyle change in the next 10 years or so? Do you have the family you want, or will it grow? These questions will help determine what your home needs are, both now and for the future. If you’re looking to grow your family, that may determine the number of rooms you should consider. The location of the home to shopping or schools may be important. If you need more than one car, you’ll need to consider the parking options around your home. If the home is in an underdeveloped or newly developed neighborhood, you may want to think about what those changes could possibly mean.

Again, these are details that may be extremely difficult to change. And if they can be modified, such as adding on rooms to a home, they will be very costly. That said, buying a new home is investing in your present and future, the dwelling and its surroundings, the internal amenities and external options.

Be Choosey, but Be Wise

There is a lot to consider as you begin the process of buying a new house. These are just a few of them. I firmly believe that everyone should get exactly what they want in a home. If your potential new dream home comes with linoleum flooring but you’re more of a hardwood person, check your budget before committing. That’s a change much easier to accommodate than hoping your backyard or square footage will magically double. Triple check your list of must-haves with a fine-tooth comb and work to see past everything else. With careful thought and planning, buying a new home will truly be making your dream a reality.

I’ll Never Regret the Cost of My Wedding Dress

It’s traditionally said that a woman’s wedding day is one of the most important days of her life, if not THE most important. The financial investments in that day are huge, to say the least. There are no hard rules on how much to spend or what to spend money on. However, I believe the bride should have the primary say on the amount to spend on her “big day” necessities. For me, that was my wedding dress. It may seem shocking to some, but I spent a large percentage of my wedding budget on my wedding dress. And I have never regretted it for one minute.

Picture Perfect

I’ve always had a distinct picture of what my wedding dress would look like in my mind’s eye. As a little girl, I spent hours upon hours dreaming about it. I didn’t necessarily dream about the wedding, per se; that never really mattered to me. I didn’t care if I had a destination wedding or a ceremony somewhere under a waterfall. All that mattered was that my dress was amazing.

I guess my wedding dress fell under the little girl dream of having a “princess moment.” That vision stuck with me throughout my adolescent, teenage, young adult and later years. The irony in that is I never had (or wanted) many expensive dresses throughout my lifetime. Sure, I had cotillion and prom dresses, but Even as an adult fashion designer, I never had a penchant for ornate gowns or clothes. But there was something about that one picture in my mind that I couldn’t (and didn’t) let go of.

So, as I prepared for my wedding day, I unapologetically chose a luxurious dress that made me feel exactly how I wanted to feel on my special day. As I look back on my wedding day photos, I still smile and glow at the ornately decorated baby bump that held my firstborn. Admiring the photos, I relish the dress that helped me express outwardly the sensuality and power maternity gifted me. It still feels magical. The moments I spent in my dress will always hold priceless memories for me.

Beyond My Wedding Day

Another reason why I will never regret the cost of my wedding gown has nothing to do with me personally. It does, however, have everything to do with people I love and care about. I’ve had some amazing friends over the years whose parents were not in the financial position my parents were. As we grew up, I made the decision to give them my formal cotillion and prom gowns in middle and high school, respectively. I decided early on my wedding dress would be no different.

From my perspective, my wedding dress was an important element of an important moment of one of the most important days I would ever experience. I never considered the dress to be an important part of my life. I knew I would never wear it again. Most brides never do! Heck, some even rent wedding gowns for that exact reason! I knew from the beginning one of the very special ladies in my life would be offered to use the dress.

It’s such an amazing feeling to be able to share special tokens of love with others. I love that something that held such meaning for me helped create more beautiful memories for other deserving women. I’ve always had a heart to help others. It’s what I do in my everyday life, both professionally and personally. My wedding dress was yet another example of giving back to women who gave so much of themselves to and for me.

Your Wedding, Your Wallet, Your Wishes!

Let me be clear: am I suggesting you go out and spend your budget on a lavish, costly wedding gown? Absolutely not. I’m suggesting that you ask yourself what is most important to you on your special day, make THAT your priority, and secure the memories you deserve for your nuptials. That will be different things to different women. If the ultimate wedding for you means serving the most decadent hors d’oeuvres and delightful entrees to your guests, find your Michelin-starred chef and savor every forkful! Maybe you’ve always wanted to say “I do” in an exquisite palace or locale. I say channel your inner Carrie Bradshaw and find your jaw-dropping venue you will never forget!

My wedding dress was my non-negotiable. It was important to ME, and that’s the message I want to leave with you. This is YOUR day! Whatever will bring you the ultimate joy, which is what you deserve on your wedding day, give yourself that. Don’t worry about what others will say about your priorities and decisions. They may try to judge or sway your decision. This isn’t about them. It’s about YOU. “Them” includes guests, family, friends…even your mother! None of them are more important than you on your day, so allow your decisions to bypass them all together.

Even after a divorce, I can honestly say I look back on my decision to allot a significant sum of money to my wedding dress with a smile. I am as confident now as I was then that I made the right decision. I encourage any woman on the verge of tying the knot to define what will ultimately make her wedding day the most memorable day of her life. Find that, keep it in focus, spend what you need to make that a reality for you, don’t look back, and have no regrets.

Sophisticated Styling With Color in Home Decor

My design clients’ preferences have always run the gamut. With everything from yachts to residential homes to commercial spaces, I have designed for a bevy of tastes. I love the variety because it gives me a chance to seek out new ways to style a space and stretch my creative muscles. Every client wants something different. For some, neutrals bring a cozy comfort, ushering in an understated elegance that can be modified with accents as they desire. Others thrive in more colorful spaces, but wish to do it in a tasteful manner that complements their space nicely. If you fall in the latter group, I’ll share with you ways to infuse color in home decor!

For quite some while all the style guides were encouraging everyone to decorate spaces with white, eggshell and tan. Every home magazine cover featured rooms in that palette, and things all started to look the same. I’ll admit, I do love a beautiful neutral room from time to time, but I find beauty in several styles, and that includes color! Many have grown tired of living in a sea of fifty shades of beige. We’re ready to start using color in home decor. So how do you achieve that while still keeping your space chic?

Focus on the Furniture

If you’re craving color in home decor, think about adding some with gorgeous furniture pieces. Using furniture allows you to control just how much or how little you want of a shade in the space. If you’ve always wanted a deep jewel-toned green, but want just enough to give the space a bit of a pop, consider barrel chairs as accents to your dining room table. They come in every color and style, and you can really elevate the space by selecting tufted ones! These work well because they will offer just a peek of color as they sit anchored by a larger neutral piece, such as a table.

Another option is to use antique-inspired seating such as Victorian or Edwardian chairs in the living space. You can almost always find these with gorgeous colorful cushions. I offer these as a suggestion because if the majority of your furniture is neutral, these regal looking chairs will certainly stand out without overtaking the space. They provide a nice balance that will liven up an otherwise less-vibrant room.

If you’re feeling more adventurous, go for larger pieces in bold colors. A sleek sectional in deep navy or an over-sized chaise in merlot would solidify the palette to work within a room. Pieces like these give an instant focal point when you walk into a space. They play nicely with patterned furniture pieces like ottomans with the same color woven throughout. Consider tall headboards in your bedroom in the color of your choice. You can keep your bedding minimal and let the headboard do all the talking! The options are endless. Whether you desire a little color or bold statements, furniture will always be a safe way to weave beautiful hues into your space.

It’s All In the Details

What if you’ve already purchased the major pieces and your home needs livening? No worries! Often the largest changes are brought about using the smallest tricks! Styles of beds and bed frames are always going in and out, but if you have chosen a more classic bed without a colorful headboard, have fun with bedding and linens! Decide on a color scheme and buy beautiful, lush comforters or quilts to add pizzazz to the room. Duvets are really easy if you already feel attached to the bedspread you have, but need to find something that matches your new theme.

You can create a totally new look in your bedroom or living room with throw pillows that bring various tones into the space. Again, if you’re working with a smaller budget, look for pillow covers that slip right over existing pillows. Color in home decor is a big part of the way a space makes you feel when you enter a room. The little details play a bigger role in setting the mood than most believe. It’s easy to get lost in the larger items when you’re styling a space, but the accents are just as important. Consider things like coffee table books and vases. Even table settings and centerpieces can add visual interest in a room. Don’t forget the details!

Weave Color in Decor With Wall Space

If you’re ready to ditch the beige expanse in your space and add zest, think about the walls! You could totally leave everything in your room exactly as is and add paint to the walls, or even just one wall to give the entire space a makeover! Painting the walls is an awesome way to transform a space’s color without a huge commitment. If you decide you don’t like it later on, you can always paint over it.

Another great way to add color in home decor is to use wallpaper. Gone are the days of only selecting from solid wallpapers. You can use patterns to spice up a space, and you can always decide to use it as an accent by only wallpapering one wall or upper half of a space above crown molding or other architectural features. If paint and wallpaper sound like more color than you want in your space, utilize artwork! Everything from paintings and photos to tapestries can add beautiful tones that draw the eye.

Determining the feeling you want in a particular space will guide the amount of color you decide to add. Whether you’re ready to welcome in striking, vibrant hues or only minor pops here and there, these tips will help you revamp your decor and give it a stylish and sophisticated face-lift! Have fun with color this season!

Hydration Tips for Your Summer Sweeties

Summer temperatures are here! Make way for hours of sunshine, smiles, sandcastles, swimming—and sweat! We moms know that kids perspire a lot during the spring and summer seasons. That’s why I adopted some easy hydration tips to ensure my boys stay healthy while exerting that seemingly endless kid energy. Here are some things you should keep in mind.

Signs of Dehydration

One of the first hydration tips moms should know is to recognize when your kids may be dehydrated. Signs of fatigue or sluggishness may be a huge indicator, especially if your kids are generally high-energy children. Pay close attention to them before they play outside, and definitely keep an eye on them while they’re active.

You should also watch out for things such as irritable attitudes (well, more than usual LOL!), extremely dry skin or constipation. Crying without shedding tears could also indicate a need to hydrate. Also, you should keep track of your child’s urination frequency. If s/he hasn’t taken a tinkle within an eight-hour period, you may need to get some liquid in his/her little system.

Quick and Easy Hydration Tips

So, practically every mom on earth knows that the most obvious of hydration tips is to make sure your child gets plenty of water. Most doctors agree that good, clean, pure water is the best way to ensure your child gets the hydration they need to avoid over-exhaustion. The word is still out, though, on exactly how much kids should technically be drinking a day. Some sources say they should drink an amount based on their age, while others say they should drink the same amounts adults should. In the hot summer months, I suggest letting the temperature and your kids’ thirst be your guide: give them water frequently and plentifully!

Whether you do bottled water or provide it in your own containers, I wholeheartedly believe that size matters when it comes to how much your kids think they can have. Bigger bottles or containers may seem daunting to kids, and chances are water could be wasted. Give them smaller bottles (eight ounces or less) or containers of water. It will cut out excessive waste, and it will seem more personalized and catered to their size.

Sneaky Hydration Tips (Because kids…)

But Breegan, my kids HATE drinking plain water! Look, I get it. I’m a mom, too.  Plain water can be a kid’s hydration nemesis, especially with all of the ridiculously sugary drinks on the market that entice them so much more. I have a few work-around hydration tips for that, too!

If your kid doesn’t like drinking water, give them milk. It’s actually considered a quicker way to hydrate the body than water. The proteins in milk, along with the natural sugars (in the lactose) help the body retain water, so consider that if you have a finicky water drinker. Just be mindful of milk with high fat content. Undigested lactose could upset kids’ tummies, and none of us wants to deal with that.

As a dairy milk alternative, I’d recommend almond milk. One of the best services I’ve used is Mylkman, a delivery service that provides fresh almond “mylk” and coconut water. Made fresh from organic almonds and coconuts the day of delivery, their products are packed with potassium, calcium, iron, and magnesium. Plus, they contain necessary electrolytes that help control, balance and retain fluid in the body. I highly recommend Mylkman products as a perfect and convenient way for your kids to stay hydrated this summer!

You can also create your own electrolyte-infused drinks by adding citrus (lemon, lime, etc.) and a pinch of salt to a regular glass of water. This will have the same hydration-boosting effects of drinks purchased in grocery stores, and it may save you a few dollars. Score!

Let Them Eat Their Hydration!

Another great way to get your kids to stay hydrated without them having a clue is letting them eat foods that help restore liquids in the body. Water-rich foods can help hydrate your kids and keep them hydrated. Summer salads made with lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes or spinach are easy ways for kids to consume a healthy dose of foods that are primarily made of water.

If vegetables aren’t their thing (even though vegetables should be, moms), almost all kids love fruit. Watermelon, blueberries, cantaloupes and melons, and strawberries are made of over 90 percent water. Your kids will get needed water, vitamins and fiber with every bite! I like to make smoothies for my boys; it’s technically not eating, but they sometimes use a spoon. Does that count?

Finally, allowing your kids to eat yogurt can help rehydrate your kids quickly and deliciously. Plain yogurt is roughly 85 percent water, and it’s loaded with potassium and sodium. Add to it some fresh fruit, and your kids will love you for caring about their water intake they way you do!

The summer is all about fun, but it should also be about health mindfulness. Let your kids run around and play until the sun sets, but be sure to keep their bodies with ample amounts of needed water. Consider these hydration tips while you and your family plan the many summer outings this season will bring!

Life After Divorce Surprised Me!

It’s no secret. Divorce is hard. Nobody in their right mind goes into a relationship plotting its demise. You fall in love, decide to partner with that person and go on to mesh lives. When it ends unexpectedly, both parties are left feeling hurt. The next steps are typically pretty tough, but what about everything that happens AFTER that? You might be shocked to learn how life after divorce surprised me in so many ways.

You’ll Be Happy Again, I Promise

For many, the process of divorcing is anything but pleasant. There are days when you both absolutely hate each other, and the split can’t come soon enough. It can be hard to see the peace that exists on the other side of it all. One of the biggest surprises was that life after divorce left me happier than I’ve ever been. It sounds odd to say that some of the greatest joy I’ve experienced came out of some of the darkest days, but it’s true.

Listen, I won’t sugarcoat things. If you’ve been through it, you understand the anguish that colors the entire situation. I made an incredibly difficult decision to end my marriage with worries about the challenges I would face or possible regret I’d have to live with dancing in my head. I doubted myself at every turn. Even with those concerns, I remembered all the reasons our relationship didn’t and couldn’t work. I reflected on the pain that I endured because I was trying to remain in something that wasn’t meant to be. I made the choice because I knew the future held ten times more happiness than what I was experiencing at that moment. It may not feel likely while you’re in the process, but trust me: happiness really does exist in your life after divorce. Hold onto that, and persevere.

The Scarlet Letter

Perhaps one of the most unfortunate surprises about life after divorce is the way society views single moms. Maybe I should have expected it, but my focus was more geared towards an internal charge to change that label into something positive. Turns out, other women in similar positions felt the same way. I asked a recently divorced friend if she was ready to be a single mom. Her answer?

“I’m not really going to be a single mom. We will co-parent!”

I listened before explaining that if you are a mom, and you get divorced, you are a single mom. No amount of co-parenting, money or support will change that. Gwyneth Paltrow, as successful in business and Hollywood as she is, is still a single mom. Society has placed an ugly stigma on being a single mother. After my divorce I became keenly aware of it. I thought I would somehow be able to change that before realizing that the societal view I was attempting to change…was also who I was now.

It’s me. I am a single mom.

While that may sound obvious and even a bit strange to my readers, let me explain what I mean. When you find out you’re pregnant, excitement becomes you, and all the planning begins. You quickly decide that you’re going to do everything right. Your child will eat only organic, preservative-free foods, and he will never watch a minute of television. As times passes, reality kicks in. Next thing you know, you’re handing him a french fry from a happy meal and downloading his favorite show on his iPad.

Every woman thinks to herself, I won’t be THAT mom. The truth is, you might! Life after divorce made it clear that I would walk around with a big scarlet letter ‘S’ on my chest that signifies single mommyhood. I would be lying if I told you it hasn’t been a journey in self-reflection and identity defining. But it gets easier each day. I think we’re redefining what it means to parent as divorcees bit by bit.

Life After Divorce: An Eternal Connection

You know what I find funny? Despite getting divorced to end a relationship with someone, you will forever be connected to the person. Life’s sense of humor is a dark one, huh? My life after divorce quickly taught me that my husband is never truly going away. While we’re in a different place currently, in the beginning things weren’t as smooth. Upon first meeting people I would hear, “Oh I know your husband!” It became the norm. I learned that every momentous occasion would be shared with my ex. Birthday parties, weddings of our mutual friends and everything in between would mean showing up with him. Even our public perceptions are tied to each other.

Is it challenging? Absolutely. This part of life after divorce can breed resentment if you’re not careful. Having to share so many of your special moments can feel like somebody let the air out of your balloon. A change in perspective helps greatly with that. Because our lives and images are linked, it really helped me to see the good in both my ex and the situation. I’m no longer fighting the attachment, and we’re all better for it.

Friendship Potential

Feuding is all too common in most divorces. There are days when you look at the person and don’t recognize them at all. In those instances the idea of ever being anything slightly more than cordial for the kids’ sake seems impossible. I’ll be honest with you: it takes a while, but one day you’ll laugh again. I remember the first time we were together after my new life after divorce began, and our kids did something silly that made us both giggle. It was so unexpected that we both just kind of looked up at each other at the same time. It felt…strange.

Think about it. Laughter is usually an audible expression of enjoying someone’s company. When it happened between us, I felt pure shock! Wait a minute. Was that just a little bit of cheerfulness peeking in? Could it be? The answer was yes! It won’t happen overnight, and the road to peace is often a long and winding one, but a friendly relationship with your ex really  is possible.

This life after divorce surprised me in so many ways, and if i’m honest, I get more revelations regularly even now. My divorce journey will certainly differ from yours. But if I’ve learned anything at all, it’s this: what happens when everything is said and done is definitely worth the trials. Hang in there. The next chapter requires you to, after all.

The Benefits of Cycling for Your Entire Family

I wrote a blog a bit ago about why I love cargo bikes so much. It’s a great activity for me and my boys. I’ve recently had a few parents ask me why I prefer this particular activity so much. Well, it’s a complete blast, to name a great reason! But I also thought about a few helpful benefits of cycling that have helped me as a parent, and have helped me strengthen the development of my kids.

Physical benefits

I’ve loved riding bikes ever since I was a kid. It’s one of those things that never gets old, and once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget. As I’ve gotten older, though, I realize that it’s more than just a fun activity, as my health has become a major factor in ensuring my overall well-being.

With that, one of the greatest benefits of cycling has been incorporating an activity that positively impacts my heart health. I can tell in my stamina, both in my personal and professional lives. I can walk greater distances on construction sites and inside of home projects without getting tired. Plus, I find myself playing and dancing longer with the boys. I don’t even feel worn or out of breath. Once upon a time doing those things would have had a time limit. That’s not been the case recently, since I started taking more regular rides with the kids.

I’ve also noticed that my legs and calf muscles are much more toned—undoubtedly because of the pedaling I do on the bike. Most trainers and exercise specialist say that cycling is a low impact activity, and I agree. It’s not too strenuous on my body, but I also think I determine that when I decide how fast or slow I go. (I typically don’t go too fast with the boys in the cargo.)

Mental benefits of cycling

I think a by-product of riding my Yuba cargo bike with the boys is regaining mental stamina as we venture throughout the city. I didn’t measure it, but I found myself happier when I rode around with the boys. I’m sure it was a combination of the vitamin D from the sun, the mood enhancers from adrenaline and endorphins being released, and the natural reaction of happiness I feel when my kids are happy.

Whatever the combination or equation, one of the best benefits of cycling for me is having a more positive spirit and outlook on my life as a mother and professional. There’s a realization that I’m spending quality time with my family, and that makes me feel good. Also, I’m deliberately exercising, and that makes me feel great about my health and wellness. Those thoughts impact my self-esteem and outlook on my life. I get an opportunity to regularly release the stress from deadlines and various project needs, if but for a while. I feel like I’m winning on all accounts!

What about the kids?

I’m not the only one that gets something out of our casual cycling sessions. There are several benefits of cycling that I’ve seen my boys experience. They’re not necessarily getting the physical results that I get (because they’re getting chauffeured by their loving mother). But, I see the relational positives when we go out. They get to explore the city and engulf their little minds in the sights and sounds of so many different cultures.

I’ve answered so many questions from them about things they see or want to experience as we enjoy the cargo bike. Those can run the gamut from choosing their own sunglasses from a local vendor to helping the homeless that we see while riding. I don’t hide reality from them, because this is the world I want them to impact. That has caused me to answer some difficult questions from them. However, it has also allowed me to be an example of how they can change the world in small ways. That has resulted in buying shoes for some in need, and helping others less fortunate get a meal.

It’s this bonding and exploration that I think I love most when my kids and I go riding. These are experiences that might not necessarily happen while riding in a car. I guess our cargo bike allows us to not just drive by the world we live in; we get to immerse ourselves in it, and I get to do it with them. We share these experiences as a family, and that’s a benefit of cycling on our cargo bike that is so precious and priceless to me.

For many people, it may just look like my boys and I are aimlessly wandering the streets of Venice Beach. It’s so much more, though. We’re living, learning and growing together with each pedal rotation. We are also being good to ourselves and each other with each trip. And, we’re making memories for a lifetime, and I hope we are creating a tradition they will want to do with my grandkids in the future.

PS: Safety first! Always wear a helmet. Our helmet of choice? Nutcase Helmets!

Why Moms Should Vacation Without Kids (Sometimes)

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N. It’s a word that should be synonymous with R-E-S-P-E-C-T. That’s not the case for most moms, though. Amid the hectic schedules of afterschool sports, instrument lessons or shopping for projects (or groceries!), moms rarely take the time they need to be away from family or child responsibilities for a short period of time. Well, I’m here to say that they should vacation without kids!

…sometimes…

Renew yourself (self-care)

Longtime readers know that I’m a true advocate for moms to take time for themselves regularly. I’ve had my share of feeling selfish about it, but I know that I have to advocate for myself as a busy mom as much as I do for clients and my family. Taking a vacation without kids is no different! In fact, NOT doing so could be extremely detrimental to your mental and emotional health, as well as the emotional health of your family relationships.

I determine when it’s time to take some time away by considering my stress levels, sleeping patterns, etc. Likewise, it’s so important to check in with yourself regularly, moms. If you’re frequently asking questions like, ‘why am I so tired?’ or ‘what’s with the added stress lately?’, I think it might be time to hop on a plane or train for a few days with some friends (NOT kids!).

Reconnect with others

Genuine relationships are practically gold for us moms. While we all try our best to maintain our friendships with fellow moms, the realities of family needs can often thwart the best of intentions. However, if you’re away from those needs—i. e., on a great vacation without kids—you can more appropriately renew those genuine friendships with good conversation and quality time, and fun-filled, you-centric activities.

Because I know “mom time” is precious for us all, I look to take an annual trip, usually around Mother’s Day, with my best girlfriends. Our time isn’t spent doing anything other than drinking some margaritas, letting our hair down, and laughing life’s stresses away! But that’s so important to do. Besides, I find that most times it’s not what you do, but who you do it with that makes new experiences fun!

You know what else happens when you vacation without kids and opt to go with other moms? UNDERSTANDING! There’s a commonality between us as moms that cannot be understood by outsiders. It’s like we all know what this time means, and we share a collective exhale! Even if we get calls from home about a missing sock or misunderstood instructions, I know we will understand various issues in ways a significant other or child will NEVER get. And trust me: you need that more than you probably realize going through your normal day-to-day.

Re-energize relationships (or romance!)

Here’s one of the most important reasons you should consider taking a vacation without kids once in a while: time away from the kids can help ignite the spark in your marriage or intimate relationship! Even if you are a single mom, you will definitely have a greater chance of meeting someone special when you’re not having to check temperatures (or homework), give baths, and prepare meals.

Throughout the course of having kids, couples tend to lose much of themselves in family responsibilities. They also focus more on sacrificing for kids versus taking time for themselves. Taking that vacation without kids will give you ample time to rediscover your love for each other. It will help replenish affection that may not happen as much with little hands opening doors at, say, “inconvenient” times.

Please know that these few reasons don’t account for the many other reasons why getting away for a vacation without kids is necessary for moms in the thick of parenting. I know more than anyone how “mom guilt” creeps up at the thought of doing anything without kids. I totally get it. The kids are very important. And yes, they do need you. But you know what? YOU need you! If you don’t hit the internal reset button, life will do it for you—and you don’t want that. Summer is around the corner, so consider taking some time for yourself, mom. You’re more than deserving of it!

A Royal Nursery Fit for a Duke and Duchess

When Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, now officially the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, married in 2018, it was the global celebration of the year. The ceremony displayed the best of their combined worlds, both culturally and socially, even though they broke from tradition in more than a few ways. Harry and Meghan’s story has been uniquely theirs. Their personalized narrative is what revs my creative engine as I consider the excitement around their soon-to-arrive baby—and how I would design their royal nursery!

Redefining “dignified” decor

I’ve mentioned on several occasions that one of the best design projects I could ever wish for would be to decorate the royal nursery for the new Duke and Duchess. My ideas about what is fit for a royal baby would be challenging, but in a positive way. This particular couple, in my opinion, has redefined what it means to be “royal.” Their collective persona is one that is graceful but confidently determined. I have such an appreciation for that. On the surface, we see a visually different-looking family for the British empire. Deeper than that, though, Harry and Megan have made it known they will live “the royal life” on their own terms. I think we’ll see that translated with the decor they select for their nursery. I would not be surprised if their design choices depart greatly from more traditional styles of nurseries past.

What I mean is I don’t think they will focus on a “glamour and glitz” nursery at all. That doesn’t seem to be their style. I wouldn’t be surprised if they decided against utilizing over-the-top gold colors and tones in their baby’s room. I would think more in terms of a color that symbolizes the confidence that permeates their family and union, one that evokes a sense of harmony and stability. To me, that exists in one perfect color: navy blue.

Navy could work for either a girl or a boy in my design eye. For a boy, it would bring a stately “gentleman” appeal, or a sense of traditionalism that is respectful but not limiting. With a girl, navy would present as serene. Paired with cream or other earth tones, her room would exude a sense of tranquil elegance and dignified sophistication. It is a color that leaves an understated but commanding impression, and that fits this couple (and their offspring) perfectly.

A room with imperial personality

Adding to the color, my designs for the royal nursery would include layering textures and materials throughout the room. Why? Well, the Royals are a multifaceted couple, and I believe their child will be, too! They have their public personas, but something makes me think each of them has a different side the public rarely sees, if ever.

One of these visual layers, for me, would include tufted furniture! Tufted furniture softens the feel of and adds comfort to a space. That will be key for nights of rocking, or for nannies who will spend time there. Tufts practically exclaim, “I’m comfortable! Come sit on me!” Also, it’s always nice to have soft, fuzzy things in a child’s nursery. I would even accent the space with a nice-looking faux fur for the room!

Next, when asked if I would want wallpaper or paint on the walls of the royal nursery, my reply is simple: why not do both?! Maximalism is having a huge comeback right now, and I would definitely take advantage of it. Wallpaper is such a beautiful European staple, but it could present as tacky if not used strategically. That’s why I wouldn’t utilize it on all walls in the nursery. Done tastefully, it could make such a statement and not sacrifice comfort and panache.

Of course, there has to be a chandelier in this nursery! WHY NOT??! Chandeliers exude class, but they also create a focal point of interest in a space. Whether it’s a traditional, modern or casual look, a lovely glow from a chandelier brings a room to life and says, “something in this room is important and special.” I don’t think anyone would argue that as a true statement for the Royals.

Personal and purposeful

These are just a few of the many, MANY ideas I have for Harry and Meghan’s nursery. The overall design, though, would reflect all that the royal couple has presented to the world since they confirmed they were dating. As a couple they have always presented themselves as reserved and poised, but intentional and highly impressionable. This is what I would love to see and feel when I look at every aspect of their baby’s nursery. Like Harry and Meghan’s wedding, I want it to reflect the magnificence of the Royal Family, but with a subtle grandeur that is uniquely warm and personal to them.

Will the Duke and Duchess of Sussex pick a canopy crib or a bassinet for the royal nursery? I honestly don’t know. Will they use a theme for their baby’s room? That certainly would be interesting. Might there be an official portrait of Queen Elizabeth hung in the nursery? I’m sure that’s possible. However they design this room, I know it will not lack one detail that reflects what is important to them. Every minute element will be as genuine as they have been to their adoring public. And I, for one, cannot wait to see the new nursery and the new Royal Family addition who will call it home!

Dating After Divorce: When You’re Woman #2

“Are you dating anyone?”
“Is there someone special in your life?”
“Are you planning to marry again?”

These are all questions I get asked regularly, and there really isn’t ever a satisfying answer for any of them.

Dating. For many, it’s the bane of our existence. For others it’s a pastime, a fun exercise in “Social Skills 101” that just might lead to that fairytale ending older generations mistakenly promised us. Either way, dating after divorce is nothing short of complicated.

Which Are You?

There are two kinds of women in the world. Woman #1 loves love. She thinks of her immediate future, and images of “the one” appear along with impossibly perfect date ideas accompanied by idyllic weather and diamond rings.

Then there’s Woman #2. She’s the one you can’t always figure out. Her previous experiences in life and love color her more realistic expectations, and she isn’t concerned with the social norms that seek to govern relationship law. Woman #2 thinks of the future and imagines happiness and contentment. Neither of those has a requirement of VVS stones.

If we’re honest, most of us have been both of these women at some stage in our lives. Currently, I’m much more Woman #2 than Woman #1, and I’ll tell you exactly why that matters in this blog.

Dating After Divorce

Dating after divorce and dating as a single mom is a journey unlike any other. It feels like learning a new language. The whole world just sort of shifted while I was married. It’s now a universe full of apps like Tinder and Bumble, and a million other super secret complex portals that lead to… endless stressful dates that one must spend hours getting ready for, night after night after night! AHH!!!

Okay. That’s maybe a stretch, but let’s take a beat and dissect this dating after divorce thing honestly for a second. I’m a single mom of two energetic boys. I own and operate my own interior design business. I have a million things pulling me in a thousand directions, and I’m tired. An average day in the life of Breegan Jane might mean being onsite for hours, selecting stone for a property and then wiping a toddler’s butt. I’m supposed to accomplish all of that, and then go on an interview disguised as a first date to find someone I might want to make-out with?

Woman #1 is ready, willing and able with polished nails and coiffed hair, and she’s excited to meet someone new and gauge compatibility. I, on the other hand, do not have time or energy for multiple meaningless dates, so I decided that something needed to change in this stage of my life.

Redefining My Wants

A closer look at my feelings revealed that much of the pressure I was experiencing originated from societal norms and expectations. I had internalized the idea that I was supposed to want to date right now and find another husband. That is the furthest thing from my mind, so instead of interpreting my contrasting feelings as flawed, I decided to examine what it was that I truly desired. I wanted companionship.

I wanted an interaction with someone that was significant, but didn’t involve the introduction of my children or the promise of wedded bliss. That type of relationship isn’t always easily categorized. There isn’t a label for it, and outsiders have a hard time understanding and accepting it for exactly what it is. Even so, it’s what works for my life right now.

It’s My Party and I’ll Date If I Want To

Wanting a meaningful relationship doesn’t mean that I have to force myself to be more ready than I actually am. Right now, in this emotional space and stage in my life, I am deserving of the love or “like” or intimacy that I want. None of that has to be limited by a definition for the comfort of others.

I am allowed to show up and ask for what I want with my boundaries in place. I can spend time with someone I care about and still not want to commit to an ultra long-term situation with them. It can get tricky. After all, it necessitates a lot on the part of the other person in the relationship. I can communicate feelings like “I’m open to the possibility of love,” but my intention is never to give false hope. Either the person can handle that or they can’t.

Dating after divorce as a single mom means that I’m half in and half out 100% of the time. That makes for a complex interaction, but my life is far beyond busy these days. Choosing to spend it with someone I desire companionship with means sacrificing in some other area. If we’re hanging out regularly, you can be assured that it’s the highest compliment I could ever give. Life isn’t always a party, but it is the main event for you and me. We have to be selective about how we spend it.

Making Our Own Rules

Family members will always want to envision your happily ever after. Friends will always insist on turning fun outings into a double date when you’d be perfectly content as a “third wheel.” Humans are biologically predisposed to wanting to categorize everything. We can’t get away from that. We can, however, live life on our own terms.

Listen, single mom or divorced woman: whatever your evolution looks like, however you choose to ease back into the world of dating, is fine. Your fairytale ending, or beginning, or present may be a story that hasn’t yet been written. And that’s okay. Shut off the flow of external pressures, and start dating in a way that feels right and comfortable for you. In the end, you write the rules. Your happiness depends on it.

My First Microdermabrasion Experience!

This post has sponsored content, but all thoughts and opinions regarding the experience are my own.

Throughout several blog posts I’ve discussed various aspects of self-care, from wellness to traveling and everything in between. Like most moms, I’m learning these things as I continue my personal life journey and sharing along the way. My recent microdermabrasion experience was another eye-opener that I wanted to share with my readers.

Why microdermabrasion?

I was asked by someone recently why I decided to try out this skin treatment. Honestly, I haven’t done the best job of taking care of my skin. That’s actually an understatement. I simply haven’t had time to focus on good skincare with everything going on in my world. There are construction projects to focus on each day. I have two energetic boys. The business won’t run itself! I honestly don’t have time most days to sit with a skincare professional. I know many readers will be able to relate to that.

But here’s the deal: if you don’t stop, your skin will stop you—most likely in front of a mirror! Listen, we’re moms, we’re career women, and we’re in our 30s. To combat the influence of time and life, most have chosen the botox route. I wanted to try something a little less invasive for my skin that didn’t have the potential of harmful side effects. So I took some time to find an alternative solution, and that led me to an out-of-the-way experience that has changed how I manage my skincare.

Spa Riviera to the rescue!

I found myself at Spa Riviera, a skin and body care boutique in Torrance, California, not really knowing much about what would happen. The owner, Tony Cutrona, welcomed me and put my mind at ease with his warm personality and demeanor (which is very important when trying to develop a trusting relationship with a skincare professional). I explained what I wanted, and he recommended his signature service, the microdermabrasion facial.

Mr. Cutrona broke everything down for me. He explained how the microdermabrasion treatment would remove dead skin cells and cause a decrease in wrinkles and fine lines in the face area. That was music to my ears! I didn’t know that oil glands in our skin slow down as we age, and that our skin slows down the process of naturally shedding skin. The treatment also helps to relieve clogged pores and blackheads, speed cell turnover, improve hyperpigmentation, and increase circulation in our skin (which helps the skin retain a youthful glow).

What’s more, I learned that microdermabrasion treatments help with my regular skincare routine. After getting the treatment, the “new” skin would help moisturizers penetrate better than my non-treated skin. It would also help my makeup apply more smoothly. This is great because I’ve found myself adding to my makeup routine recently.

The Verdict

I’m so glad I had this experience at Spa Riviera. It wasn’t painful, and I learned a great deal about the process. I learned that there are small things I can do to help rejuvenate my skin and maintain a healthy complexion. Several microdermabrasion sessions a year will work wonders for my daily routine and cosmetic process.

It also taught me that I need to practice what I preach regarding self-care. I need to take time out and take care of me! Time can no longer be an excuse for me—or you! There is never going to be a good time to get away. I have to carve out time for maintenance and wellness. If we don’t take the time out, we are never going to feel our best, and that will hurt externally and internally.

I encourage you all to consider a healthy, holistic approach to your skincare. Make an appointment to see a good microdermabrasion professional. Don’t go with the quick-fix treatments out there. Your skin will thank you with a much more radiant reflection in the mirror, and that will be well worth the opportunity!

Schedule your first microdermabrasion treatment at Spa Riviera and use code “Spaday” for 60% off! Valid for first time customers only.