Author: Breegan Jane

Plan a Staycation Today!

This current time we’re living in is unlike any other we have experienced. Though we’re enduring it together, I dare say this is probably the longest stretch of time we’ve spent doing such monotonous routines. Routine is definitely good, but everyone has an internal need to switch things up every now and again. Adding insult to injury, the pandemic caused many of us to put milestone birthdays, retirement celebrations, trips and vacations on ice. With furloughs and lost jobs also in the mix, getting a moment of reprieve from it all may seem all but lost. It isn’t. One small but significant option to get away could be with a local staycation. Here’s why.

Stress-free Perks

There are so many benefits to planning a staycation. For me, those start with the financial advantages I’ve found. Many companies are changing focus which, consequently, impacts jobs and paychecks. That being the case, it’s been great to consider a low-cost option just minutes away from home. Shorter distance options mean I don’t have to consider purchasing expensive plane tickets for my family. (And it’s also nice to alleviate that “are we there yet?” question kids love to ask!)

Closer accommodations also help cut down on costs that would be spent on destination resorts and hotels. While you can still choose to enjoy 5-star options for your staycation, you don’t have to! Remember the “R” goals of a local getaway: resting, relaxing, re-centering and resetting! Use your finances to achieve those things and put your money wherever it counts for you. You can literally choose your own adventure for your own health and wellness at a fraction of the cost.

Lower weekday rates will help you maintain an even more cost-effective staycation. Many local hotels offer these rates because there’s less business during the week versus the weekend. For those parents who are still concerned about establishments maintaining COVID-19 protocols, weekday visits are great. There are fewer people at hotels generally speaking during this time of quarantine, but there are even fewer people during the week. If your schedule allows overnight stays on Tuesday or Wednesday, this may be a very useful and inexpensive perk!

Low-pressure Advantages

Planning for big travel vacations can be extremely stressful. I know I deal with packing the right things for myself and my boys. That includes the right amount of outfits, making sure I don’t forget the favorite toys and tech gadgets, and securing that everything weighs the right amount for flight regulations. I have none of those issues when planning local staycations. I’m practically right up the street!

I know many people also feel the need to purchase new outfits and items of clothing before going on vacation. Many women and moms also have to plan for personal preparations like hair and nail salon visits. It can all wear you out before you get going! With staycations, though, these to-do items are so not necessary. There’s no need to buy all the “right” things simply because you would be miles away from home without access. Honestly, you really need nothing more than what you already have to prepare for your local getaway. A staycation alleviates all of that mental stress.

Staycations also allow more do-what-you-can flexibility when it comes to your time. If your budget or schedule only allows a day away, that’s perfect! If you want to extend your staycation, no problem! Less money spent and closer proximity both allow great advantages for changing plans. You literally get to set the rules and amend them as needed.

The best staycation stress-alleviators? No cleaning or cooking! You get to leave those responsibilities to the hotel while you spend more time with family (or just yourself). I loved being able to curl up with my boys, watch movies and order in. I’ve been asking them to advocate more for themselves around the house during the pandemic, so this was a great perk for them and us as a family.

Incentives for Kids and Working Parents

Self-care is typically discussed from an adult perspective. However, our kids are going through these unprecedented times, also. Even those who are too young to properly analyze everything around them still absorb our energy as adults dealing with the pandemic. After an extended period of time of eating, breathing and living in the same space day after day, even children start to feel the impacts of the proverbial “Groundhog Day” we adults do. A local staycation, with its change of scenery, is good for kids. It’s a great way for them to hit the reset button in their little lives.

The summer is the only time my boys get to enjoy extended amounts of beach and pool time. This year was extremely important to me in that regard because I wanted them to learn to swim. I don’t have a pool at my home, and the local pool areas were closed. Our short staycation stints allowed me to have access to a small water playground for them to practice water safety and enhance their swimming skills. With the aforementioned weekday stays and fewer people, this was a great incentive to enjoy a local day or two away.

As a parent, I’ve also noticed my kids are happier to comply with my requests in the days and weeks leading up to a staycation. They’re even happier to follow rules unprompted while we’re on our staycation. As a working mom, I’ve also noticed that my kids don’t mind as much if I’m multitasking with business, taking a phone call or responding to an email while we’re away. They simply enjoy being in their new environment and don’t equate my working as “time away” from them as much as they do when we’re home.

Redemptive Time Away

If you’re like me, I know you’re hoping to get a “life” re-do in 2021. We’ve all given up so much this year, and so have our children. You don’t have to wait until next year to make concessions for the experiences you missed in 2020. Redeem some portions of your plans and time with an inexpensive staycation closer to home. It’s a great way to achieve a vacation feeling for a fraction of the cost with little to no preparation needed.

Adjusting Friendship Needs from a (Social) Distance

Let’s face it: if you have a true, genuine friendship, you have something that is seriously coveted these days. Over time, and with shared experiences, friendships that survive distance, years and circumstances all fall into their own separate rhythms. You have some friends that you talk to every day and tell all of your embarrassing details. Then there are others you hardly talk to with your voice on the phone, but you regularly send memes and ask advice about things through words.

This pandemic, with its guidelines and stipulations, has changed what some of those friendship parameters and rhythms look like. I’ve had to find different ways to fill some of my own friendship voids. I’ve also had to adjust to the friendship needs of some people who are very close to me. Here are some necessary things to consider as we all embark on the journey of reframing our personal connections while enduring COVID-19.

Self-Revelations

One key to effectively meet others’ friendship needs – and have them meet yours – is knowing who you are and how you best operate. For more introverted people, perhaps this time quarantined has allowed necessary introspective thinking. The time in solitude has probably provided much-needed quietude and moments to reflect and recharge. In a pre-COVID-19 world where life was always hectic, an extended time to oneself would most likely be heaven.

That’s really great for them. It’s just not me.

Though I knew it before, the pandemic truly showed me how much of a socially-driven person I am. I get life and energy from spending time with friends and loved ones. Much of my personal growth and inspiration comes from being a conversationalist. I love being around people! Plus, I’ve always been an auditory and hands-on learner. Sitting silently and quietly reading has never been my thing. I need to hear things and interact with people and tangibles. It’s how I’m programmed naturally.

Neither personality is more right, wrong, better or worse than the other. What’s important is that you recognize who you are and what you need. Be honest with yourself and with others about those needs. Pretending I loved weeks alone with myself was never true to who I really am. Knowing that about myself allowed me to advocate for my needs, both to myself and to my friends, in order to cope well while quarantined. I definitely think this is an important first step in adjusting friendships during these times.

Technical Support

Technology has played a much more necessary role in this quarantine time, and it will undoubtedly impact person-to-person interaction as we all reconsider our friendship needs. Programs like Zoom and FaceTime help us to see our loved ones and simulate “getting together ” when we can’t physically be together. Video conferencing tools like these, Skype and others have been lifesavers for families and friends this year.

I appreciate all those video programs offer, but they’re not my preferred method of communicating. I’ve had to use Zoom several times a day every day. Being on camera for hours on end can be exhausting, and Zoom fatigue is very real. Because I’m a multitasker, I like to be connected to listen and talk. But I also want the freedom to hit mute and check on my kids or do light cleaning at the same time. That’s so much more easily done with a voice call versus FaceTime.

That being said, I don’t shun technology at all! There are so many ways it can help you stay in touch in our new normal. I even know some guys who get together virtually to chat while playing video games. Whatever works! Whether it’s a FaceTime chat, a voice call or a casual game of NBA2K21, discover what mutually works for you and your cherished relationships and go for it.

Be Understanding

Adjusting your friendship needs is so important now because safety and personal comfort zones have been put in such a different light with the coronavirus. Flexibility and understanding have to be moral imperatives due to the fact that “change” has and will continue to be a priority for us all. And do you want to know an easy way to deal with these changes? Realize that they’re not about you.

We’re all working jobs remotely, and many kids are still dealing with remote learning. Time, as commodious as it seems, has disrupted all of our routines. Some of us have gone from having Sunday mimosas every week to having the kids and significant partners around 24/7. Life, in many respects, isn’t about what we want to do necessarily. Rather, it’s been reduced to a focus on what we can or need to do. Thinking that way, hopefully you’ll recognize that adjusting and changing for these shelter-in-place times shouldn’t be taken personally.

Some of the carefree flexibility we had in our lives may not be possible now. I know I haven’t always had happy-go-lucky kids skating in the house while taking business calls. Neither have I had to talk in code because little ears are around. But that’s my life for the moment. I’m still the fun friend I have always been, but I have to work within quarantined parameters that aren’t always convenient. It won’t always be this way, but it’s a present reality. While life is different right now, good friendships understand that and stay the same.

The True Root

It’s easy to see why these new life circumstances we’re all living in could make it difficult to keep our typical friendship rhythms. However, it is not impossible to maintain trusted friendships. You just have to get creative, be honest about your needs, understand your friends’ new boundaries and set your own. We’re all having touch-and-go days. It’s so important not to let social distance make us feel distant from our good friends. Making the necessary adjustments in our friendships will help us all to get to the root of what friendship truly means: having support for one another in our greatest time of need.

Stop Your Screen Time Worries

We’re living in such a unique time right now. Everyone is experiencing extraordinary circumstances, and I don’t think there’s one person in my friend group who hasn’t expressed a bit of dismay at one point or another in the last several months. Parents have an additional layer to calculate in this bizarre equation that COVID-19 has gifted us. That layer is screen time and how much or little of it is appropriate for our children. Whether it’s an iPad, a TV, phone or handheld gaming console, parents are often torn on how to strike a balance with it all. I think we can give ourselves a little bit of a break on that front, and I’ll tell you why in this blog.

Stop Your Screen Time Worries

We all want the best for our children, and with many of the concerns around screen time and the harm it could potentially do to our eyes, it’s no wonder that parents are concerned. There are definitely a few things to be aware of. Staring at a screen for prolonged amounts of time can lead to a host of undesirable side effects. 

Children can experience eye fatigue, blurry vision and even dry eyes. That alone is enough to make any parent shy away from our kids’ favorite pastime. But, even the American Academy of Pediatrics has modified their guidelines. The changes now reflect the current digital culture in which we all live. Too much screen time can be harmful, but the easy fix to that is simply to ensure that we monitor the way children spend time while using their electronics. 

Setting up the correct lighting levels, ergonomic positioning, limiting the duration and even blue light glasses are just a few of the things we can do to help protect our kids’ eyes while they engage in all the typical day-to-day activities. If we’re willing to devote a little extra time in these and other ways, screen time shouldn’t have any significant negative impact on our little ones.

Learn By Play

I know it’s tough to let go of the idea that all screen time is bad and should be avoided, but let’s consider a more realistic approach. Many of our children are using computers and tablets to do their virtual learning at the moment. That makes it pretty impossible to refrain from all screen time for any household! One of the things we do in my home is use our iPads to complete educational activities disguised as fun games! 

ABC Mouse is just one example of a program that my kids enjoy using. They get to play fun games while learning new skills, and I don’t feel guilty for allowing them the time to spend playing while I get work done. Seek out cool learning opportunities that your children will ask to play, and let their screen time be an added enrichment for their traditional courses of study.

Mom’s Pick Movie Nights

Parents often ask me how I get my kids to wind down so easily at the end of the night. Generally speaking, bedtime for us isn’t too difficult. We do all our nightly routines, and occasionally I’ll get those cute little voices following behind me asking to watch a movie before bed. Now, I’m sure most moms would cringe at the thought of interrupting a normally programmed schedule just to appease the kids with a movie, right? I get it. But, hear me out. 

I get the kids showered, with teeth brushed and suited in their cozy pajamas. Then, we get settled in bed and prepared for a movie. There’s just one catch: mom gets to choose what we watch! That’s the most important element in this plan. Think about it.  We all love Frozen and Moana, but those catchy songs are impossible not to belt out at the top of our lungs. “Let It Go” and “How Far I’ll Go” don’t exactly create a tranquil, quiet environment conducive to peaceful slumbering. 

My solution for this is simple. I select the “movie” each time, and it’s almost always a nature documentary. We watch documentaries about whales, or the rainforest, or even just the planet Earth. You’d be surprised at how interested the kids are in this type of viewing. The visuals are always amazing, and the information is alluring even for younger ages. The kids think they’re being treated to a movie night, all the while they’re learning new scientific facts. The pacing, soundtracks and voiceovers of these types of documentaries are typically pretty calming. My boys always drift off to sleep fairly quickly. Everybody wins in this scenario!

Balance is Key

Screen time isn’t without its challenges. To do it correctly, parents must be willing to commit to  monitoring and limit-setting. We cannot use screens as babysitters. But, we live in an age where pretty much everything is done, learned or acquired digitally. If we are to equip our children with healthy habits, the process has to begin early. Don’t stress yourself out over the time your kids spend with their electronics. Find healthy ways for them to engage via screen time, and make it fit into your lifestyle in productive ways.

Do You Have a “Friends” Family? You Should!

Dealing with this pandemic is a trick in and of itself. Doing it without some sort of support system? I’d find that really tough. I’m grateful to have a loving family with whom I can connect, both during the pandemic and beyond. But I’m finding that it may be just as important, maybe even more so, to have a solid, genuine network of good friends to lean on. I definitely have an amazing “friends” family, and here’s why you should, too.

Same Difference

I’ve discussed how important my mom and dad tribes are to me. They’re so key to who I am as a mom, woman and human. And, they’re such powerful groups because they’re extremely different than my nuclear family. Why? They’re personally shaped and molded by various life experiences that brought us together. The support we provide each other in various stages of life makes our connections to each other so rich.

The interesting thing about the people in my “friends” family network is that we are all so different! I think Los Angeles has an interesting way of bringing unique cultures and personalities together, and I love that about this city. I think I’m actually the only one in many of my “friends” family groups who is actually from LA! Deep down, I think those differences make us a closer community. Varying cultural perspectives and social upbringing allow us to see, support, learn from and grow with each other in ways that differ from the more homogeneous support ideologies we get from our traditional families. I know that’s helped me shift my perspective on certain aspects of my life and problem-solving options during challenging times.

My Travel Family

The idea of my “friends” family has resonated so strongly with me recently because of canceled travel plans due to the pandemic. It’s not so much that I won’t get to visit Ibiza (my FAVORITE place on Earth). Rather, I’m more disappointed that I won’t get to see a very special group of friends that I only get to gather together and travel with once a year, if I’m lucky.

This group of friends literally looks like an ad for global diversity. It’s such a mesh of beautiful people from various cultures. On my regular trips to Ibiza I typically get to see my friends from Spain. We’re joined by friends across the globe from many different backgrounds. We’re all so different and from completely different walks of life. Yet, we are all tethered to each other by love, care and concern for one another. That’s what makes this group special, and that’s why this family will be sorely missed this year.

Cultivating a really great “friends” family is extremely valuable to us all. Each of us needs real people around to nourish us mentally and emotionally. Likewise, we all have gifts we should be pouring into others. It’s especially important during times of isolation, such as this year’s quarantine. In times of joy, sorrow, laughter and tears, family is key to navigating life’s circumstances. However, know your traditional family isn’t your only support system. Strive to develop nurturing, symbiotic relationships, and build the “friends” family you need and want to grow with for years to come.

Healthy Boyhood: Embracing Feminine Energy

There isn’t a mom among us who doesn’t want the absolute best for her children. We’re all doing the very best we can to raise great humans. Hopefully they will grow up to make this world a much better place than it was when they entered it. So, on our quest to improve the planet by proxy (lol), we tackle all sorts of lessons. We teach general kindness, tolerance, manners…you know, all the basic tenets of decency. We teach our children about safety and health. And if we’re really wise, we teach them about finances and interpersonal relationships. But, with all of this instruction I rarely see parents eager to talk to their little ones about masculine and feminine energy. What’s more, I almost never see feminine energy in boys embraced or celebrated. I think that’s a mistake, and I’ll tell you why.

It Takes Two

I’ve encountered many people who seem to take issue with the fact that I believe and find great happiness in the fact that my two boys are capable of expressing femininity. Those individuals would prefer I cut their hair when it is long. They would prefer that I refuse their requests of polished nails from time to time.

Now, don’t get me wrong. My sons seem to exhibit strong masculine energy more often than not, but I want them to know and experience their femininity freely. After all, we all have it. In fact, we have both. In all of us there lies masculine and feminine energy. The two work together in a yin-yang kind of way to make us the complex beings we are. The notion of only teaching girls to be soft, only teaching boys to be strong and never the twain shall meet is antiquated and useless. Those contrasting parts of us help aid in the development of various skills and our ability to think and process concepts and ideas differently. No one benefits from the suppression of such valuable internal systems.

Rethink and Reprogram

We must challenge double standards around masculine and feminine energy. In many instances it is more widely accepted for little girls to be gifted robots or superheroes with lasers than it is for little boys to play with dolls. This sends an unhealthy message to our children about what is okay, socially. I am, by today’s standards, a heterosexual woman who carries a lot of masculine energy. I take on a lot of traditional masculine roles in my home life, and my boys don’t view it as strange. At times, I am an extremely “girly girl,” and at others my grit and valor are on full display. My sons don’t raise an eyebrow at either. They only see a woman who expresses all sides of who she is and is not limited by a so-called societal norm. 

There are several men, who as full-fledged adults, struggle with communicating their emotions. They were simply never taught how to. Others were strongly discouraged against it, with clear messaging that to do so would make them akin to women. Therefore, to be like a woman was unfavorable, weak, less than. Are those the kind of values we wish to pass along to our kids? I would hope not. If we’re going to raise our boys to grow to be men who love and respect women, who see women as strong and capable, we must first teach them that femininity is natural, and it is esteemed. Femininity is often what allows one to identify and explore their emotions. It is often what allows connection to individuals with dissimilar experiences from our own. We want to raise a healthy generation of young people, but that can’t happen if we aren’t teaching our boys to understand and appreciate their own feminine energy.

Embracing Feminine Energy

If you’re wondering where to begin when it comes to nurturing feminine energy in your boys, don’t worry, you’re most likely overthinking it already. Start by paying attention to the things your child is naturally drawn to, and allowing him to explore the activity a bit. In my boys, I tend to see softer expressions displayed in them artistically. They come to me asking to try projects like jewelry making, painting or even baking. When they do, we give it a shot! Kingsley always had baby dolls when he was younger, and Kensi has no problem loudly proclaiming that the color pink is for anyone who wants to wear it. We don’t compartmentalize those types of things, we have fun with them. Purposely seek out and watch movies with your boys with female leads and heroines. Reject the idea that there are “girl movies” and “boy movies.” These are small ways that you can reshape harmful beliefs about women and femininity with your kids. 

We are all multifaceted beings with much to give to this world. Every unique part of us exists for a reason. Traditional characteristics may be easier to spot in our kids because of our own biases, but stifling an innate essence, virtue or interest in someone simply because of an outdated standard isn’t propelling us forward. It’s holding us back. Feminine energy is a gift. It is no better or worse than masculine energy. The sooner we can all accept that, the better our entire world will be. Let’s start the process today.

A Great Teacher Deserves a Great Weekend Workspace Transformation!

Disclaimer:  Lowe’s provided me with some of the materials I used in this Weekend Workspace Transformation redesign. I bought the rest of the materials from them with my own money. The opinions I shared about using these materials are my own, and Lowe’s did not tell me what to say or how to say it.

As an interior designer, I love recreating spaces in my home. I understand the impact that freshening up interior looks can have on my emotional well-being. It’s a primary motivation for helping others with their homes. Add to that an amazing, super-sweet and very deserving recipient, and you’ll understand why I went all in for this Lowe’s Weekend Workspace Transformation!

Something Special for Someone Special

Jackie Gonzalez teaches at my oldest son’s school. He adores her, and so do I. She is the quintessential teacher who gives of her time, heart and attention without fail each and every day. When I found out she recently received a lupus diagnosis, I knew I wanted to do something special for her. After the recent announcement of Los Angeles public schools not opening at the beginning of this upcoming fall, I wanted to support Ms. Gonzalez personally and professionally. Kingsley and I wanted it to be as bright a spot in her home as she is in our community!

This recent global pandemic created unexpected circumstances for most everyone around the world. I can only imagine the anxiety it sparked for people who, like Ms. Gonzalez, have an autoimmune disorder. Being at home for indefinite periods of time can be a gift of safety, but it can also be a real challenge for productivity. Thankfully, Lowe’s provides a variety of product selections and creative solutions for versatile workspaces. I knew I could count on them to help me find ways to make Ms. Gonzalez’s home permanently adaptable going into the upcoming fall school year.

The Lowe’s Transformation

For Ms. Gonzalez’s Weekend Workspace Transformation, I decided to redesign a cute (but outdated) workspace in her attic. The room presented one particular challenge: a slanted support beam in the middle of the space. I used it as inspiration to think creatively about the room, and to shift my design paradigm to create an appealing but functional aesthetic. When working with unusual elements in a space, know that complete overhauls are not always necessary. Enhancing the space with creative decor can be just as striking!

Ms. Gonzalez and I went to lowes.com and ordered accessories to bring the natural elements in the space to life. That started with new color enhancements. Can a space be complete without a fresh coat of paint? I don’t think so! With that, I gave the space a much-needed refresh with this lovely shade from Lowe’s, and it was exactly what was needed to seal the look. I repainted the walls, structural beams, desk and base of the buildout in the middle of the room. It gave the room a sense of renewal that really energized Ms. Gonzalez’s spirit. Lowe’s for the win again!

Astonish with Accessories! 

To help with organization, we added extra storage with crisp white, three-shelf bookcases. We also utilized storage baskets with lids. These accents are small but elevated decorations that enhance the room and function as great as they look! We incorporated further storage by creating wood shelves on the walls. Supporting them with stylish gold brackets added just a touch of opulence to showcase the beauty of the floating shelves.

One of the most intuitive ways to change the look of a space is by adding new lighting. Whether it’s a gorgeous floor lamp with a brightly-hued lampshade, a decorative sconce or a compact desk lamp, you can brighten the space and even customize the tones in the room with light! We were able to incorporate each of these choices in Ms. Gonzalez’s work area. Rest assured that Lowe’s has an incredible selection for any lighting need you might have.

Elegant Extras

Working with products as a #LowesPartner always reminds me that small, unexpected elements add so much to home spaces. I kept that in mind while redesigning Ms. Gonzalez’s office. To create an open, airy appeal to the room, I added indoor greenery to help bring the outside in. Lowe’s has a nice selection to fit any room in your home. Other items, such as a pop of color from a side table or a nice runner or floor rug, ground a space and bring everything together for a cohesive look and feel. It’s so great to know that whatever accents I need, Lowe’s has all I need to make a creative redesign happen.

Before I began this project, Ms. Gonzalez felt extremely anxious about the upcoming year. A little creativity and some really great products from Lowe’s changed all of that in one weekend! You can do it, too! Head over to lowes.com, add these great products to your list, and create your own Weekend Workspace Transformation with Lowe’s, your at-home headquarters for work or school!

From Work to Home: Lowe’s Has You Covered!

Disclaimer:  Lowe’s provided me with some of the materials I used in this home office redesign. I bought the rest of the materials from them with my own money. The opinions I shared about using these materials are my own, and Lowe’s did not tell me what to say or how to say it.

It’s easy to understand how everyone might be feeling a bit out-of-sorts lately. Our entire world is dealing with never before encountered circumstances, and it’s beyond difficult to problem solve when you aren’t even sure where to begin. If you’re someone who works from home, you’re likely dealing with an extra dose of chaos and maybe a little anxiety about how to make it all function well.

I bet Lowe’s doesn’t automatically come to mind when you think of back-to-school readiness, but you’re going to be amazed when you see this Weekend Workspace Transformation! I’m so happy to be a #lowespartner. Lowe’s helped me give this mom and teacher an inspired, dream space in an unusual place within her home. I’ll show you exactly how we did it!

A Terrific Teacher’s Transformation

Many moms feel like the kitchen area is their territory, and Mrs. Bemis is no different. Her setup has taken on an unusual dual purpose as she not only utilizes the space for more traditional uses to care for her family, but also as a workspace for her students. Along with other teachers in the region, Mrs. Bemis has been forced to teach remotely due to the pandemic and quarantine. Her two daughters are also home early from college, and they frequently sit in the kitchen to do their own schoolwork. We knew we wanted to give her a space she could feel comfortable in, and one that would excel in both form and function.

Our Weekend Workspace Transformation began with a vision of giving Mrs. Bemis a gorgeous tuxedo kitchen with newly painted tile countertops and a modern feel. She wanted the room to have a refreshing breeze, so we revamped and updated the space by removing the outdated lighting and replacing it with two beautiful Hunter Aker 36-in Indoor Ceiling Fans with Lights from Lowes. Mrs. Bemis’ former desk area felt more like it had been haphazardly thrown in a corner. Moreover, it felt less like it was a dedicated space conducive for productivity and motivation.

It’s All In the Details

We knew we needed to pay attention to all the big and small details. That’s the key to shifting a space and its energy from disorganized and chaotic to styled and uplifting. An easy way to do exactly that is to upgrade the hardware in a space. We added a Brainerd Brushed Brass Bar Cabinet Door Pull from Lowe’s, and switched out her faucet for an updated one, among other chic finishes that add a bit of glam to the space.

This space wouldn’t be ideal if it ran short on function. Lowe’s made sure every item was in tip-top shape! Mrs. Bemis recently had the unfortunate experience of a small fire in her range. Lowes.com helped me deliver a brand new stainless steel Freestanding Gas Range as well as a new Hisense Bottom-Freezer Refrigerator in stainless steel. A teacher’s workspace relies on an organized, methodized system. Did you know you can find decorative baskets at your Lowe’s? I use them everywhere, and they can be especially helpful on a kitchen counter. Rethink uses for items like this Bamboo Flatware Organizer by Lipper International that can also be used to store office items in an atypical space.

Perhaps the update that underwent the biggest visual transformation was the tile countertops. It’s an easy step by step process that you can achieve in the span of a weekend! First you use a hard degreaser, and then clean the tiles really well. Next, you paint them with Tough As Tile White High-Gloss Tub and Tile Resurfacing Kit from Lowe’s. We love this product. Give them a couple of days to dry, and your Weekend Workspace Transformation is complete!

Like most teachers, Mrs. Bemis was beyond humble about having the space she deserved. She needed a place that would take her from work to home in a seamless manner. I knew Lowe’s was the go-to spot for that! Now, whether she’s helping her family, or teaching via Zoom, Mrs. Bemis will feel confident and well-equipped to do it all. We all know you simply cannot pour from an empty cup. Thank you so much to Lowe’s for helping me fill hers, and make this teacher and mom happy to get back to school this fall!

 

Sunbrella: The Perfect Addition to Your Outdoor Space

This has already been a summer unlike any other we’ve experienced. We’re all spending much more time inside due to the current pandemic. If you’re like me, that has left you with an intense yearning for the outdoors and a healthy dose of natural vitamin D.

Outdoor spaces have really become so much more important in these times. I’m blessed to have a beautiful rooftop deck space that gives me perfect access to the sunshine and fresh air I crave. Unfortunately, it has traditionally only been used once or twice a year when I hosted a party or event. Other than that, it was simply a forgotten space. Now that our usual social events aren’t possible as we’re all taking extra safety precautions, this rooftop space has truly been a gem! I decided a sprucing up for my rooftop deck was well overdue, and I’m so thankful I got to partner with Sunbrella to turn this space into my new favorite part of the house!

A Personal and Professional Favorite

Partnering with Sunbrella was an organic collaboration because I’ve been using Sunbrella fabrics forever! Sunbrella is the ONLY fabric I’ve used outdoors and in my clients’ spaces for the last ten years, and for good reason. Nothing compares to Sunbrella’s durability. The fabrics handle stains easily and always look brand new due to the fact that it’s UV resistant and fade proof, meaning it won’t lose its vibrant color in the sunlight.

I have an outdoor patio seat cushion with Sunbrella fabric that gets used much more often than my deck seating. It has remained beautiful through three years of kids, birds and even spilled food contents. I can honestly say their fabrics can weather it all!

Revive and Refresh Your Outdoor Space

The first step in creating a more usable space was to make sure the area was both functional and aesthetically pleasing. I brought furniture out on the rooftop, but the pieces needed new life. Giving older furniture new cushions is a perfect way to revitalize a space while still being budget-conscious.

I wanted to do something I’ve never done before and create a custom design in pillows! I’ve always been a huge fan of Sunbrella’s solids, but I felt very drawn to the symbolism of “the eye.” I’ve come across “the eye” many times during my travels abroad. It’s a symbol recognized in West Asia, Egypt and the Mediterranean among several other cultures. I’ve even worn it on bracelets for protection. For me, “the eye” is a reminder that I can be safe in a time when I feel most vulnerable. I knew I wanted to incorporate the emblem into the theme of my outdoor space. The cherry on top was that the design married my two favorite colors, teal and white, pretty perfectly!

Distanced and Social

Creating this outdoor space as a designer was an especially fun project. I envisioned an area that would effortlessly accommodate close groups of loved ones as they socialized post-pandemic. That meant special detail had to be given to the types of seating and the spacing.

Each guest would need their own seat as well as some sort of functional side table for their beverage. With at least six feet of social distance being our “new norm” now, one communal coffee table simply won’t suffice for everyone anymore. Initially, I wasn’t sure how I would incorporate that standard into the design, but it actually turned out great! I’m so happy with what we were able to achieve.

Wine, Not Whine

I know what you’re thinking: groups of people mingling with food and drinks? Won’t I be at least a little afraid of messes on my new beautiful cushions? Not with Sunbrella! I spilled red wine on one of them last week, and you would never know it. To clean the fabric, I just needed a little soap and water. Even the white Sunbrella fabric is as good as new!

My rooftop is filled with fun, music, family and plenty of carefree moments. It’s a warm and cozy, beautiful, lived-in space. Visit Sunbrella for your outdoor space needs today!

Sunbrella Fabrics Used: Level Atlantis, Layer Caribbean, Canvas White and Heritage Char

Your Feelings are Yours. Own Them.

I’ve recently started noticing a pattern in my two boys’ interactions with each other. Other parents know this pattern all too well, I’m sure. It’s the back-and-forth tattletale syndrome. As bothersome as it is, addressing it with my two littles helped me instill an introspective lesson I think is as important for adults as it is for children. My conversations with them revolved around their feelings: what they can control about them, and what they can’t.

“Made” to Feel

I felt the need to address this issue with my kids because I consistently heard a phrase restated over and over again.

“He made me feel…”

For those that don’t know, I’m a parent who never misses an empowerment opportunity, these present incidents with my boys included. I explained to them that no one can “make” them feel anything. Situations and circumstances may impact us emotionally. People, however, don’t have any power over us that we don’t allow.

From a mom’s perspective – at least, with my kids – dealing with kids’ feelings encompasses lessons about communicating with each other. The offended must explain what happened in an altercation, and he must also explain to the offender what emotional impact that action had. For example, Kingsley explains to Kensi that he gets mad and sad when Kensi hits him. Keni, in turn, doesn’t want his brother made at him, so he apologizes and commits to not do that again. (This is a heavily abbreviated version of the interaction, but you get the point.)

Dealing with Adult Feelings

With little boys, these teachable moments present more than a little drama, crying and blaming. They’re kids, after all. It’s a part of parenting. The core of this conversation, though, also pertains to adults. I’ve often heard friends explain that some people “made” them feel a certain way. Again, self-empowerment proves nothing could be further from the truth.

If I could speak to every person that believed that, I would explain the power of self they possess within themselves. We ALL have it. Yes, actions and words evoke things within us. We’re human. And while we may not be able to control things that happen to us, we have all control of our responses to those things, plain and simple. The key is to get to the root of why we respond in certain ways and decide whether or not to give ourselves over to those specific situations again.

I’ve learned you can empower yourself if you can own your emotions. If you show up for someone or something that evokes negatives feelings within yourself, don’t blame the situation or the person. Change the narrative, and you ultimately change your response to whatever that is. No one else wields that power but you, so protect your positive energy! If the time you spend with someone always ends negatively, choose to spend time with someone else. No, that person doesn’t “bring you down.” You bring yourself down by being with that person. Own your responsibility to yourself and how you want to feel, and you return power to the person that matters most in any occurrence: you.

It’s Always Time for Your Feelings

None of these thoughts negate the fact that unfavorable things will inevitably happen to us all. And it’s okay to have emotions about those things. However, it’s important to know that you, and only you, are in control of yourself every day. You decide whether to walk away from circumstances or not. Communicating thoughts about your feelings will always be your prerogative. And, if need be, you always have to power to take a moment on the sidelines of a situation to be sad. But never forget that you always, ALWAYS have the power to not let things ruin who you want to be.

We are all blessed to get 86,400 seconds to live the best lives possible each day. Own each one by not allowing anyone or anything to steal them. It will feel great, I promise!

Growing Boys – The Story of my Jolly Green Giant

Here’s a statement I know most – if not all – parents know well: kids today grow up way too fast! It’s so true, and I have growing boys that seem to stretch an inch a day! Though it’s expressed often, it’s more than a cute (but real) thing to say as parents. I think about this reality with more than a little apprehension. Here’s what I go through with my oldest son, Kingsley.

“He’s How Old??”

Having growing boys means many things to a parent. Clothes fit for shorter durations, food disappears in larger quantities and more frequently, etc. My biggest concern with Kingsley is that his steady growth changes his appearance…drastically. He is heads above his friends and practically everyone in his class. Parents are almost always shocked when I explain he’s only six.

“He’s how old??”

That’s what I get from everyone. Kingsley’s growth didn’t really surprise me. I experienced something similar as a kid. When I went through puberty, I grew into my body last out of all my friends. But when I did develop, boy did I develop! I looked much older than my age, and so did my body. I even had to have a breast reduction at an early age. My son is nowhere near that, but his physical frame is definitely growing at a faster rate than his age-appropriate maturity. And that’s the biggest concern for me as his parent.

Great Expectations

Kingsley’s rapidly-growing body might suggest to unknowing strangers that he’s much older than he actually is. Because of this, it can be easy for there to be a maturity expectation that isn’t appropriate for his corresponding age. A stranger at the club pool may, because of his size, incorrectly judge him as an eight-year-old who isn’t behaving properly. The reality is he’s just six, and he isn’t mindful of when his lanky arms reach too far and knock a glass over.

As his mother, I know that Kingsley’s heart and soul don’t fit his body. They’re so much softer and younger than the portrait nature is painting of his in this part of his life. It’s made me more of a helicopter parent because I want to make sure he isn’t misunderstood or misjudged when he’s simply not great with spacial awareness. I find myself constantly apologizing for him. At the same time, I tend to be hard on and assertive with him in public. I feel as if I had to be, and I know other parents of growing boys understand that. I love the innocence I see in him when I ask if he’s the tallest in his class and he responds, “no, the teacher is.” Yet, I know not everyone will share or appreciate those moments. I totally get it, but it’s not fair to him at all.

The World from This Point

Raising growing boys is never easy. I fear things may only get more difficult from here. Accidental clumsiness won’t always be forgiven with “I’m sorry” or “I didn’t know.” As with many situations recently in our society, I am keenly aware that the world may see him as something he’s not. I want to hold on to his childhood and protect him with the fierceness of a mama bear for the rest of his day. Yet, I realize my biggest help to him will be to instill in him the understanding that he is beautiful just the way he is.

I will continue to teach him respect and self-awareness. He will always know that I love him no matter what his body looks like, or whatever choices he makes. Kingsley will forever remember that, though he’s my “jolly green giant,” he is one of the most amazing human beings in my life. I’ll make sure that empowered spirit continues to grow along with him.