I have single mom adventures every day with my littles. Some are more significant than others, but a recent experience really took me by surprise. I overheard a family friend talking to my six-year-old about an item this person wanted to purchase but couldn’t spend the money at the moment. Out of the blue, my son says, “Well, mommy can buy it for you!” So many thoughts immediately ran through my mind. Since then, I’ve had more comforting thoughts about that situation and the subconscious notion of female empowerment I hope is building in my kids’ minds.
I was initially shocked to hear my son volunteer finances (that weren’t his) to others. I knew his heart was in the right place, though. Kingsley is and has always been a generous, kind-natured kid, even as a toddler. It’s why, when the shock of his “offer” wore off and I had time to think about it, I smiled at his suggestion and the situation.
My son’s first thought in that scenario was ‘mommy can get whatever it is that’s needed.’ It demonstrated his picture of financial security, one that doesn’t rely on a man or a father being in the house. Societies around the world have traditionally presented a different narrative. The masses generally believe that men are the expected breadwinners and earners, particularly with families. We have all seen that in television storylines throughout the years. I live my life in a way that I hope changes that perspective for my boys. Thankfully, it seems to be working.
Modern motherhood and womanhood are extremely multidimensional. They incorporate and look like different things for different family units. Yet, many women are intentionally held back because some men find powerful women intimidating. Women aren’t always given the same (fair) opportunities because of unfounded, biased notions of being weaker or not as competent. I love that my son knew in that moment his entrepreneurial single mom provides for him.
There’s such a sense of pride in that. It’s empowering! This is why I do what I do. I want to provide for my children and have what they want/need. More than that, I want them to grow up with their definition of “womanhood” being vast, all-inclusive and powerful. I want them to know a home full of love with a single parent is not deficient, and that a single mom can successfully bear the same financial responsibilities a two-parent home has.
It’s my desire that my sons grow up to be young men who appreciate powerful women. Not only that, but I hope they will also put themselves in positions to empower women, should the opportunity arise. I do what I do because I hope to have boys who won’t be surprised at women who are strong, competent earners in positions of power and influence. They will have seen it first hand!
Something as simple as “mommy can buy it for you” lets me know they see me as capable. It’s evidence of seeds I’ve been planting. I saw a glimpse of my son sprouting. The future looks bright when our little girls feel empowered to do all they want to do, but it looks so much brighter when I think about their male counterparts cheering them on and supporting them as powerful allies.
I once dreamed of a time when women would truly be considered equal to men. My son’s very candid, impromptu declaration was a testament to that future happening much sooner rather than later. That thought brings the biggest smile to my face. So yes, Kingsley, mommy absolutely can.