Who doesn’t love a bargain? Perfection is living in a world where you name your price for the artful innovations and creations you select to complete your space. Unfortunately, that utopian concept doesn’t yet exist. Design, particularly good design, is usually delivered at a premium. However, a skilled designer knows when to splurge or save on specific design elements! This week, I discuss which to do when purchasing dining room tables.
Dining Room Tables
It’s one of the most overused and under-considered pieces of furniture in a home. Meals and casual conversation converge near it daily, and nightly math problems find their solutions at it nightly. I’m describing nothing other than the family dining room table. Like all furniture, the styles, sizes and shapes of dining room tables vary. Each creates a personality that evokes feelings of warmth, community, or formal elegance in a dining space.
The choices for dining room tables are endless. Regal options can be found in independent retailers, both online and in brick-and-mortar stores. Cheaper options abound in many big box retail stores like Ikea and
So when it comes to your dining room table, should you splurge on the purchase or save?
SPLURGE!
Go all out for this furniture purchase. Your dining room table—a well built one, rather—should stand the test of time. I’ve known families that have kept them as heirlooms for several generations! I recommend looking at solid wood tables that are heavy and solidly constructed. They’re practical and functional, and they have a visual aesthetic that makes them more appealing and distinctive.
A solid wood table like this will cost more, but the investment will be worth it, both now and if you resell it. It will never need more than an occasional refinish or paint job to restore it back to its original splendor. If you go cheap on your dining room table, trust me: it will show in more ways than one.
Solid Wood Table Options
When considering a new solid wood table, I would suggest looking at solid wood versus manufactured wood tables. These include premium hardwood options like mahogany, maple, walnut and oak. Each will have varying grain patterns and weights to suit your personal tastes, but going the hardwood route, in my opinion, will solidify your dining room table space as the hub for formal and informal occasions alike.
Designing a home can be an arduous task for many all in itself. But trying to style a baby nursery within your beautiful home without sacrificing sophistication is often downright daunting. We want the nursery to be warm and baby-friendly, of course, but what happens when animated characters and primary colors clash with the overall feel of your home? I have some helpful tips on creating a baby nursery with innovative style and design.
Matchy-matchy?
You may be wondering if a nursery absolutely has to match the colors of the rest of your home. The answer for me is no. Each room in your home can be its own statement piece. The focus here shouldn’t be on color as much as it should be style. People often forget that nurseries can still be elegant.
Your baby nursery should match the vibe of the home. If your preferred decor is casual and rustic, opt to do something similar for the nursery. Is your home quite lavish and fancy? The nursery should be, also. It should carry over the feeling of the rest of the house continuously.
To Color or Not to Color
So… does color not matter at all? It does, but maybe not in the way you think. Nurseries deemed “Pinterest worthy” by the masses seem to almost always feature various shades of, well, eggshell. Sure, an ivory-hued room can be beautiful and calming. However, there are some moms who dream of a baby nursery with vivid color. Neutral ones in shades like oatmeal and barley can leave much to be desired. If you crave color, mama, do it! Contrary to popular belief you can incorporate color in a sophisticated way if you’re willing to think outside the box.
Babies’ rooms used to be blue, pink or yellow, but there are so many other colors that are gender neutral (or even maybe not so much) and equally as lovely. Instead of going with a pink, consider shades of lavender. It will read just as feminine, but a muted lavender palette can come across as more elevated and less expected than your typical pink. Boys’ rooms have many options as well. Think of doing a stark black and white and pulling in pops of red. Blue is the traditional pick, but teals and greens can feel elegant and much more visually interesting.
Selecting a Baby Nursery Theme
It can be difficult not to surround yourself with all things cutesy when you’re designing a baby nursery, but those cartoon characters won’t do your stylish home any favors. When choosing a theme, try to veer away from animated characters and anything stereotypically “baby.” I know that seems odd seeing as how you are decorating a room for a child, but if you ask any mom she’ll tell you that those kids grow up fast!
Planning a room full of infantile decor may mean having to change it much sooner than you think. Rather than plastering a ton of cartoon elephants and lions on the walls, find beautiful realistic prints of animals you love, and have them framed nicely. The photos add a fun safari and childlike touch without being chintzy. Travel themes can also be gorgeous, as you can add lots of cultural elements to walls and bookshelves.
Furniture, Lighting, Rugs, Oh My!
Designing a charming baby nursery doesn’t stop with the decorative decor. It also means thinking of functional pieces and how they work with the space, both inside the room and in the house overall. Parents spend a lot of time being bombarded with a vast selection of changing tables, bookshelves, cribs and the like. While the color will be up to you, I’d recommend going with natural materials. There’s something about bringing a little bit of the earthy element in such a tranquil (fingers crossed!) space that will ground the other beautiful pieces in the room. Think about gorgeous woods and stones with soft tufting and you won’t go wrong. Go for lamps in place of (or in addition to) overhead lighting so that you can turn them on and off as baby is sleeping. Lamps with dimmers also allow you to focus light in a concentrated area, which can be helpful while navigating around the room half asleep in those early months!
Floors are an element that many parents forget to consider in the baby’s room. My first pick has to be wood flooring with cozy rugs atop. Carpeting initially sounds lush for little hands and feet and soft skin, but dealing with babies typically mean cleaning up stains and spills. You’re going to want to be able to easily clean anything your little one comes into contact with. White rugs are easily cleaned without ruining the aesthetic or integrity. They’re also not as hard to part with after having them for awhile if they begin to show their wear and tear.
Planning for a baby or designing the room for a younger child can be so much fun, but it can have its challenges, as well. You don’t have to give up the elegant styling of your home in order to include your little bundle of joy; you simply need to be clever in the design details. Try these to maintain an air of splendor in your home while simultaneously celebrating the arrival of your new addition!
Who doesn’t love a bargain? Perfection is living in a world where you name your price for the artful innovations and creations you select to complete your space. Unfortunately, that utopian concept doesn’t yet exist. Design, particularly good design, is usually delivered at a premium. However, a skilled designer knows when to splurge or save on specific design elements! This week, I discuss which to do when purchasing dining room chairs.
Dining Room Chairs
Your dining room chairs go through so much, the poor things. No matter how sturdy they are, they are dainty furnishings that wear much faster than other items in the home. Think about your kitchen cabinetry or beds; they pretty much last eight to ten years. Dining chairs? Not so much.
Dining room chairs tend to get beaten up quickly. And, they get more “love,” so to speak, because they’re meant to be sat in and frequently used. That frequency shifts exponentially if you have kids around the house. As such, I think it’s okay to purchase dining chairs knowing that their longevity isn’t going to be a lifetime. If they’re used for meals, homework, casual chats and work, yeah, they’re going to wear out.
So, should you splurge or save?
Save!
Listen to your always-helpful online interior designer, Breegan: don’t make a 10-year investment in your chairs. It’s not worth it financially or with respect to your peace of mind. I think it’s extremely unrealistic to think that kids won’t spill drinks on them, or grandma won’t spill a bit of wine on herself (and on your chair). If chairs get stained or worn, simply replace them. Heck, replace them every few years or so, anyway. Really good ones are not expensive. Plus, changing them out is a quick and easy way to give the dining room a new look and feel.
There are some really good dining room chairs in big box stores that are trendy and inexpensive. As an alternative to buying chairs, slipcovers also work great as a visual refresher for them. I personally prefer buying upholstered chairs. Sure, they’ll get a stain or two on them, but in three or four years, I know I’m going to replace them.
(Mis)match Them Up!
I also think mismatched dining room chairs work well for the same reason. It’s something I’ve done frequently in interior home designs. It’s a really funky way of brightening the tone of a dining space. Mismatched chairs create a visual cohesion by themselves. If done right, the intentionality can make a fun but polished statement.
Mismatched dining room chairs also will give you peace of mind if one gets ruined. You can simply switch that one out! That way, you can invest in your dining room chairs in much smaller increments versus buying an entire set. When one chair needs to be replaced, you don’t need to replace them all. I love that!
Using different dining chairs also alleviates visual awkwardness when entertaining extra guests for dinner. When you have a single set of dining room chairs, adding in extra chairs looks conspicuously different—and potentially a bit tacky. Not so with mismatched chairs! If you intentionally break up with scene with different chairs, adding others adds to the cohesive look and feel. #DesignHack!
Whether they’re worn out from everyday use or worn out from a lot of love, dining room chairs are central hubs for our bums. Don’t make the mistake of keeping them around forever. Switch them out as you need to, and use these tips to save yourself some cash for other interior design needs. Thank me later!
All right, moms, we’ve entered that time of year again. It’s the dreaded cold and flu season. The time when all we start to hear are the statistics about who is most at risk for being victimized by these relentless viral and bacterial bugs. For many of us it can be overwhelming. I mean, nobody wants to see their child sick. As a mom, these may be the moments when we feel the most helpless of all. I’m here to tell you how you can kick that cold with natural cold remedies and avoid becoming ill!
I think it’s safe to say that at one point or another every kid will come down with the common cold. Many of our children attend daycare centers or go to private or public schools. Children are at risk of contracting a cold even if they come into contact with only one other child carrying the germ. Medical experts estimate that there are more than 200 virus strains that contribute to the spread of the common cold, which is why colds are so common. If all of this makes you feel hopeless, then things are about to turn around for you because I’ve got great news. We may not be able to completely eliminate the common cold, but we can lessen the chances of getting it, and in some cases prevent it all together.
Keep ‘Em Clean
The best defense against getting sick is probably the most simple. Wash your hands and wash them often. We come into contact with so many germs, and they’re often in unsuspecting places. That doorknob you turn to get into your child’s classroom, the gas pump nozzle, the pin pad you use to enter your debit card number, even the pin you used to leave a tip. All of these are sneaky hideaways for microscopic, immune system wreckers! You can defeat them by simply washing them away with warm water and soap. Now, let’s move on to lesser known immuno weaponry.
The Genius of Ginger
Ginger is one of nature’s greatest “cure-alls” and natural cold remedies. When it comes to colds, ginger aids in a few different ways. Ginger is antiviral, which means it works to kill off nasty viruses in the body. It’s also an anti inflammatory, a fancy way of saying it will help with swollen and irritated tissues. If your child gets a sore or scratchy throat when (s)he’s sick, ginger can help soothe it. An added bonus of using ginger is that it’s spicy. The warming effect can encourage a little perspiration. Raising the body’s temperature to safe levels can kill off viral and bacterial germs and rid the body of toxins, hence the saying: “sweat out the cold.”
You can use ginger in a myriad of ways. I always suggest using high quality ginger (ginger root, grated ginger, etc) for the best effect. You can make ginger tea, you can cook with it, and you can even make your own ginger cough drops. For those who don’t want to put in the work, you can find all of these options pre-made and available to purchase at most health food stores.
Elderberry Eases
Elderberry comes from the tree known as European Elder, whose berries can be used in several different ways. While eating too many of the berries could upset your stomach, there are formulations which can be found in stores that make incorporating the herb into your wellness routine fairly simple. Elderberry has been found to defend against colds and even the flu in some medical studies, making it one of the best natural cold remedies. It is thought to be both antibacterial and antiviral. You can find it in easy-to-take capsules for adults and syrups for kids.
Oregano, Oh My!
Another great thing to add to your medicine cabinet? Oil of oregano. You read that right. The stuff on your pizza isn’t just tasty; it can fight off a cold as well. The oil can be used to help so many health issues because of its purported antifungal, antioxidant, antiviral qualities. Taking a capsule at the first sign or symptom of a cold can often ward the cold off completely. It also helps to lessen the severity of the symptoms. Using oil of oregano in water with a steamer can even reduce congestion. Do some light research on all the uses of this herb. I think you’ll find it a helpful part of your cold arsenal.
In Addition to Natural Cold Remedies…
Besides some of the suggestions above, there are ongoing things you can do to prevent getting sick in the first place. A healthy diet and adequate water intake will always give your body what it needs to fight off germs you will inevitably come into contact with. Also, because we don’t always get all the necessary vitamins from our food these days; finding a good multivitamin that specifically caters to your child’s age (and yours) is a good idea. Our immune systems are always better able to fight off colds when given a little extra fuel. Check to make sure the vitamin you choose has zinc, vitamin C and B12. Making a point to eat foods that have significant doses of these is also wise.
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of rest! Need an excuse to sleep in? Here ya go. Our bodies perform their natural functions best when we’re in good condition. Getting enough restful sleep can be the difference between catching the cold from the stranger who decided not to cover his coughs and sneezes, and avoiding those nasty germs completely.
As with all medications and natural cold remedies, you should always check with your doctor before taking anything. Don’t be afraid to do your own research. Bacteria and viruses are everywhere; there is simply no escaping them. We can, however, do a lot to avoid getting sick this season. Consider one of these methods to keep your loved ones and yourself healthy this season.
The world oftentimes feels like a giant place…until a conversation shows you it is so much smaller than you realized. That was my experience during my visit to Kenya in March. There were so many vibrant personalities and visually stunning people and places; everyday was a new adventure for me. Conversations with travel mates and leaders opened my eyes to so many things, but it was the conversation I had with a special group of young girls that made me see how ineffective distance and miles could be in keeping kindred spirits apart.
Most who know me know how much I enjoy exchanging ideas with people like and unlike myself. I’ve chosen to be a lifelong learner, especially when learning occurs with a cultural slant. I found myself constantly thinking about and comparing my life and circumstances with the girls in the village that I met. Our worlds were so different, right? From some angles, very much so.
For starters, there is nothing in my life that could ever compare to the possibility of having to endure FGM. It’s barbaric, unethical, cruel and, in my opinion, evil. Yet, many of my Kenyan sisters have survived it or fought for their lives to escape it. Many of them have never felt racial rejection or socio-cultural compartmentalization because of the color of their skin. Instead, most of them looked at my hair and complexion in awe. I’m not fully sure why, but I found it interesting.
Through talking and getting to know them (and them getting to know me), I realized very quickly that, at the core of who we all were individually, we shared more similarities than differences. This is especially true when I considered the struggles we all would have to overcome as women, even though we have already overcome many of society’s obstructive norms at this point in our lives.
In my case, I know that at this point in my journey, I have survived the social stigma of who I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to have. Had I succumbed to the stereotypical life that most think of when they hear “single mother,” I would be broke, careless with my body, desperate for government assistance and so many other hateful things that I dare not post on my blog. Yet, I’m thriving as a woman of color with two kids and no husband. I own my own business. Several, actually. I don’t live with my hand out; in fact, my trip to meet the sweet Kenyan girls with whom I chatted was born out of giving to others! Imagine that! Still, none of that will matter when it comes to the hurdles my Kenyan girls and I will forever have to jump, simply because we’re women.
It’s in that gender sameness that I connected with those girls. Our circumstances differed, but we all would have more mountains to climb and labels to override and overrule. They seemed shocked that an American woman — a businesswoman who owned her own home, car and property in the “land of opportunity” — still has to fight to earn the same pay that men who do the same job make. And, It hurt to have to tell them that, though they had endured or escaped something horrific, and though they were being given an amazing education now, they would have more that would come against them, simply because they were females.
Had that been all of our conversation, we all would have left our time together in bleak despair. But I was asked by one of the girls what they should do. I did my best to empower them with the one thing they proved to me they could do: continue to push forward, and never stop fighting. I explained in as simple a context as I could that the game of life is mental, that any rules that say they only have one option in life is wrong. FGM is a precursor to these girl’s mindsets that marriage is their only option. Now they know it’s not. I let them know that, like rejecting FGM, it was okay to reject and disregard things society accepts but didn’t feel right to them. I couldn’t leave Kenya without letting these sweet girls know that an amazing life was in front of them, but they were going to have to choose it and fight for it.
That afternoon-long conversation is forever etched in my spirit. I so miss my Kenyan sweethearts. I laughed with them, cried with them. I hugged them and stared into their beautiful brown eyes. I did all I could with the time I had to impart strength, courage and wisdom to their souls, and they did the same for me. It made me realize that there is such a thing as oneness in womanhood; it spans the globe and will reach all corners of the earth if we all continue to fight for ourselves. Because when we fight for ourselves, we make the path straighter, brighter and easier for the women coming after us.
Often, opening up to the world about my life and story can feel like a daunting task, but maybe not for the reasons you might think. As I grow and learn more about myself and the life I’ve been so blessed to live, I realize that we’re all put on this earth for several purposes. One of those, I truly believe, is to help others through our own experiences. Sometimes doing that means getting emotionally naked and putting your vulnerability on display. In this age of Trumpism (no matter what side you fall on) and heightened racial tensions, I find myself at a unique intersection of many perspectives. Through them, I hope to begin important conversations. This blog happens to be one of them.
I was thirteen and starting public school. Up until that point I’d attended a private school that was located in an affluent district of the city and filled with an extremely diverse student population. So diverse was my neighborhood that I held regular invites to bat mitzvahs and other elaborate cultural parties. My friend group included every race, religion and nationality you could imagine. Such divergence meant that one’s wealth or lack thereof could not be determined by the color of one’s skin. In this geographical space, statistics pointing towards any income disparity between races simply didn’t apply. My neighborhood and school seemed to be immune to the surface troubles of the rest of the world… or so it appeared to my untrained teenaged eye.
Perhaps it was because of this perspective that many of my firsts came as such surprises to me, when other people seemed unfazed by them. So, on my first day at this school a group of kids and I were hanging out after the school day ended. I was preparing to go to track practice when another student, a black male I recognized from one of my classes, walked up to me. He greeted me.
“Hey, you were in my 5th period math class. Nice to meet you. Are you going to the BSU meeting this afternoon?” I was so confused. He was nice enough, and I appreciated what looked like the potential start of a new friendship. But what was he talking about? Did I miss something in class? I panicked.
“Oh crap! Did Mr. Jones tell us? Was it on the syllabus? Is the whole class going? I had no idea! What time are we supposed to be there?!!”
Now HE was the one confused. A look of amazement washed over his face, and I realized I’d missed a step somewhere. He paused and explained.
“No no no, it’s not an assignment, it’s BSU: Black Student Union.”
I rolled my eyes. I was upset. “Black student what? Are you asking me this because I’m black?”
He stuttered a bit, embarrassment enveloping him by the minute. “Did you ask the white classmates?” I asked. “Can they come?”
He sheepishly answered, “Sure. But… uh…”
I was offended. In my world, there was no separation based on race. No one asked me things or assumed what my interests were because of my skin color. Of course, as an adult, I understand it much more; but back then? It just didn’t exist. This whole exchange between my black classmate and me felt discriminatory.
My experiences as a biracial person have always involved the idea of compartmentalizing. Living in Los Angeles has taught me some perplexing lessons, many I’m still trying to wrap my head around. My white friends have generally been okay with me having friendships with black people. On the flip of that, friends in the African-American community haven’t always been as accepting of my desire to have friendships with white people. I’ve never understood the reason for any of it. After examining what happened to thirteen-year-old Breegan, I have some ideas.
I know now that privilege exists in many different forms. Some enjoy privilege because of the color or their skin; others, because of their economic standing. Even first and last names can come with a degree of privilege. As I reflected on my childhood, I realized that the residents of my neighborhood and adjacent areas enjoyed privilege because of their socio-economic class. It allowed certain issues to feel invisible. Some of the social injustices that were striking other areas were not as prominent there. While my world was far from utopian, tension between races wasn’t as pervasive as the stories I’d see on the evening news each night. Brown skin wasn’t accompanied by a “less-fortunate” label. In fact, many of my black friends were much wealthier than white friends living in the same area.
I’m aware that for many, this all sounds crazy. It’s a foreign concept — not being categorized one way or another based on complexion. It was my experience, though, and it has led me to not base everything on race, not even with my own kids.
Some introspection as an older, wiser Breegan has allowed me to delve deeper into what was truly happening back then. If you read my story from a superficial level, it’s easy to dismiss it as naivete or something even worse. A more concentrated focus on the impact of those formative years led to a mini epiphany for me regarding the origins of racial views we all hold. Many of us fail to recognize how those years from 0-13 affected the way we view race. We have all been fed some opinion at one point or another about it. If, as adults, we can take a moment to reflect on what those gifted opinions and sentiments have meant to our development, we can make the choice to adopt or alter them in a way that best suits the life we desire to live.
It’s a tough topic, and I’ll be honest: I don’t like that it divides us. I know it’s a reality we all have to face, but if possible, even in small ways, I am still trying to show my boys through example that their interests, their friendships and even their successes don’t have to rely or be determined by race. It won’t always be an easy philosophy to adopt, but it will be worth it.
What did your 0-13 years teach you about race? Have you stuck with those opinions or challenged them? Let’s start the discussion.
When one speaks of Los Angeles most think of beautiful sunny weather or the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. What few who live outside of the area realize, is how big of a homeless population it has. Of the many individuals living without homes in this area, several of them are the most helpless among us, the children. Union Rescue Mission strives to help them, and it’s doing an amazing job.
Union Rescue Mission is unique in many ways. For starters, it is one of the largest missions of its kind in the entire country! It is also worth noting that Union Rescue Mission is one of the only organizations in Los Angeles which offers help for families; most others are single occupancy only. In an area like LA, this is needed more than most realize.
In May of this year Raw Sugar Living partnered with Union Rescue Mission to throw an event benefiting the homeless of Los Angeles, California. When I found out about this event, I knew I had to be a part of it. As a mother and a part of Mom Life Yo, I am always trying to help other moms in one way or another. I realize the challenges of motherhood are so great. To think of all we deal with in our daily lives as parents, and then trying to imagine piling homelessness on top of it, was unbearable just to think about. It’s an ugly reality that we should all be facing in order to help our fellow man.
I arrived at the event enthusiastic and ready to go! I was in charge of the face painting, something I’ve done several times before at other events for kids. My task gave me an opportunity to have an individual interaction with each child. My chair and table were positioned so that I was (obviously) facing the children and my back was towards everything else that was going on.
While I painted vibrant stars and moons, superheroes and other creatures on cheek after cheek, I talked to each kid. Some told me about what they were learning in school. Others spoke of all the things they wanted to be when they grew up. One kid even told me the history of rock!
These were normal kids just like mine or yours. I sat there, and with every dip of my brush into the paint I realized that I could have been at any birthday party for my own kids, doing this very same thing. Nothing was different about them; they were simply homeless. That reality made it even harder to fathom.
No kid should have to endure the pain and hardship of homelessness. No child on earth is more or less deserving of a home and safety than another. Living in a place surrounded by the stark contrast between luxury and poverty makes it impossible to ignore.
You Can Help
Many of us hear statistics and stories that sadden us and cause to wonder what can be done to help. The answer is to stop wondering and start helping! Union Rescue Mission is always accepting donations. And, if you can’t donate goods or money, no worries! You can donate your time and volunteer.
We here in Los Angeles are some of the most privileged in the country. But what good is having so much if you can’t use it to bless and uplift others? Union Rescue Mission is offering single men, single women, single mothers with children, single fathers with children as well as two-parent households meals and shelter, and they do it with respect while protecting their dignity. Visit urm.org to find out more today!
When you become a divorcee, many things change. Most of those things you expect. The ones that are less anticipated have to do with the role perception plays in one’s newly single life. I have found that there is a sort of accepted and preconceived notion about love after divorce and that divorce hardens people.
Divorce Isn’t a Love Death Sentence
People often assume that divorcees are no longer able to believe in or celebrate love. While I’m certain that divorce affects each individual differently, this was not the case for me. It’s true that divorce is difficult. How could it not be? You endure a painstakingly long process to end a life with someone you thought you’d be with forever. To say that you go through a bit of a transformative phase is an understatement. We can all understand how many men and women could have a tough time thinking of love after divorce in the same way they thought about it pre-divorce, but to paint all of us with such a broad stroke is unfair.
I adore love, and I always have. In my mind’s eye I’d always pictured my life full of love. I knew it would derive from several places, each at different points in my development. My wonderful parents made sure I always felt loved. I became a mom and experienced a type of love unlike any other before. I even knew I would find love in the form of a marriage one day. And while I have always had friends, I think you never truly understand how impactful your friendships and “Philos love” become as you enter and navigate adulthood.
Love In A European Castle
In June, I traveled to Europe for work and a vacation that would prove to be one of the best I’ve taken. My friend Desi and her husband were celebrating their fifteen years of marriage. My boys and I were invited to partake in the festivities along with them. I watched as loved ones gave speeches, champagne flowed and jovial conversations transpired all around me.
We danced and toasted, and in the middle of all the fun, I found myself taking in the entire scene. All of these people were gathered together to celebrate Desi and Jeff and their anniversary, but not as a formality. We were honoring the love and adoration they have for one another. It was so genuine that it felt palpable.
Divorcees will never be able to escape judgment of some kind. It’s pretty inevitable, and I’ve made my peace with that. I find solace in knowing that for some, my life may be the example that changes their opinion of the likelihood of love after divorce. My marriage wasn’t meant to last forever, but I have never faltered in my belief that many actually do. Love is as beautiful to me today as it was when I said my vows years ago. The difference is, I place an even bigger importance on love being abundant in my life and its source being plural.
Love By Example
It is because of this that my gratitude overflows for Desi and Jeff. I’m thankful that my two sons will be able to see an example of what a lasting marriage looks like in their union. While I haven’t given either of my boys that yet, I am careful to ensure that love is plentiful in their lives, and that it is clearly seen and experienced in a variety of ways. It is this choice that can teach us a priceless lesson: while the love we presently have may be different than that of our peers, it is no less special or beautiful. I can’t imagine anything being more valuable than that.
As we move through different phases in life, we often find ourselves faced with challenges, emotions and decisions that we never had to face before. (I think they they call this growth, right?) While these new stages bring about and aid in our personal development, many are far from easy. As I navigate being divorced, I am quickly discovering that these new changes aren’t just complicated for me, but often for my friends as well.
We live in a world that encourages compartmentalization. Everything has a name, a place, a label, a category. So we apply this thinking to all things from race to socio-economic factors, even to children and their rates of development. We just love to classify things. So it should come as no surprise that this kind of thinking would rear its head in regards to people and their relationship status as well. Well, call me naive because somehow I didn’t expect it. I didn’t expect things within my social circles to change once my status moved from married to single. I also didn’t expect the people in those circles to go through their own adjustments pertaining to “where to put Breegan” during their own moments of pondering. This is one of those feelings nobody warns you about or prepares you for.
It’s easier to group people by their status when you’re planning an event like a wedding. You’re doing seating arrangements and you want to put husbands and wives together, and long term couples together. But what about the person without a plus one? Where do you seat him or her? And what about special dinner parties or concerts? Maybe you’re thinking it would be more considerate to skip the invite if those particular guests don’t have husbands or wives since so many others do. I get it. But from a newly single gal to every person who may be struggling with how to be sympathetic to a friend in this position: please stop excluding us.
I know none of us want the people we love to feel left out of important moments or fun events. I also know that it can be difficult determining the right way to handle these sorts of conundrums. I realize the only way to successfully get anywhere with the topic is to have the conversation honestly. It’s hurtful when you find out you’ve been excluded from an event because everyone else is a couple. Being a single mom doesn’t rid a woman of her ability to have fun and laugh with other couples! It doesn’t mean she suddenly can’t relate to the conversations had in those groups.
I think exclusion in this way not only hurts feelings, but it can lead to emotionally-hardened individuals who then often go seek solace in more homogenous groups. We’re going to have to figure out how to co-exist with people whose situations don’t mirror our own. Most of us have friends who come from various walks of life, whether it be different cultures or backgrounds, different income levels or different religions. What a bland and boring world it would be if we only spent time with those who were direct reflections of ourselves! Variation is a positive thing. Why are we so determined to separate, especially when it comes to something as trivial as relationship status?
Single men and women exist. We aren’t lepers, and divorce isn’t contagious. We don’t expect to be invited to everything, but “couples only” events often feel divisive and emotionally triggering. Being a divorcee, especially when it wasn’t in the plan, isn’t something we chose. Being a widow or widower isn’t a choice, either. We’re regular people dealing with the hand life dealt us, and our only expectation is that our friends will be our friends through it all.
I think we can all agree that what we need most is more inclusion. Friendships, mom groups, political parties and everything in between all benefit when we seek to come together and understand each other instead of closing ourselves off to anyone we differ from. Being considerate of your single friend probably looks a lot more like extending the invite rather than choosing not to out of fear of obvious status differences. Our lives will inevitably take us through varying chapters; don’t take yourself out of the supporting actor role over something unimportant!
When the chance to design custom marble sinks arose, I jumped at it—even though I have had the chance to work on interior design projects that span the gamut in type and magnitude. My portfolio lists everything from converting airplane hangars to offices, to remodels of commercial buildings, to redesigns on residential spaces. You name it, I’ve probably done it. I happily take on project after project with each pushing me to advance my craft in some way. But designing custom marble sinks is an ideal solution to one of the most common problems I run into. I get to create the pieces that satisfy my sometimes perfectionist brain!
Up For the Challenge
When the conversation about fixtures arises with clients, price talk is always a necessary evil. Fixtures and furnishings made of the finest marble inevitably come with a hefty price tag. I began to ask myself the simple question: why are all the most beautiful marble sinks tens of thousands of dollars? Seeing the piece fitting perfectly within the space definitely makes the extravagant cost worth it. However, luxury should be within reach for everyone. Designing and creating custom marble sinks means I can shape and create exactly what I want in the exact material but at a fraction of the cost. There is truly nothing better than seeing the pleased look on a client’s face upon revealing the finished job. It’s even better if can add a few additional words: “we’re under budget.” It is a task I take on confidently.
Made to Order
When the goals and expectations set before me are high, my plans for a space can feel quite lofty. This is when customizing designs are most helpful. I want to bring my clients the visual details of luxury without being stuck with buying only what’s offered over the counter wholesale. When I’m creating fixtures it feels like a natural evolution of my skill and career because I’ve always been drawn to natural elements such as woods and stone. Becoming the architect of my own vision means that a big block of marble can transform into anything to my heart’s content! And, by eliminating the middleman, I can control the price and make costly design additions available for my residential clients. It’s the stuff great interior design is made of, in my opinion.
Pushing the Envelope with Custom Marble Sinks
While all clients want their space to be delightful, I often find that a particular sect of people desire exclusivity in their remodels and design features. On my quest to find sinks befitting a current project, I would see sinks that were gorgeous, but maybe weren’t manufactured in the exact stone I wanted for that particular bathroom. Sometimes I come across sinks that lack all of the features needed for a specific feel of a room.
I love a modern sink that has traditional elements. If that sounds overly complex for a bathroom fixture, think about the difficulty of actually finding it in a store. I began to dream up compositions that challenge the norm and conventional definitions of what sinks should and could be. Why does a sink have to look like a sink? Sinks don’t have to be round glass bowls. Instead, I can work on custom marble sinks with above counter designs that showcase the fixture as well as the stunning marble they are made from. My designs feature the common bathroom fixture in various avant-garde shapes with drains positioned in unexpected places. It’s the ultimate merging of form and function in a poetic way.
Designing custom marble sinks and other fixtures means I get to save my clients money without sacrificing style. It allows me to tailor each piece to the client’s needs. I am bringing my designs to market so that others won’t be limited to only expensive high-end Italian marble. A sink is essentially a bowl with a drain, but why can’t it be marvelous? I’m seizing the opportunity to ensure my clients that it can be both.
