Author: Breegan Jane

Lessons from Ho’oponopono

Have you ever heard the story of the therapist who miraculously healed patients in a Hawaiian state hospital solely with four simple statements? Someone recently told me the story of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, a spiritual expert who practiced the ancient ritual of Ho’oponopono. Ho’oponopono, a legendary Hawaiian healing and cleansing method, focuses on healing through loving oneself. The story goes on to say that Dr. Hew Len looked through the files of each patient at the mental hospital. While reviewing the records, he chanted a mantra over each individual file:

I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

The Process

Dr. Hew Len did this over and over for months. Shortly thereafter, previously shackled patients were allowed to walk freely. Other patients were taken off of their medications. Soon all of the patients were healed and released back in society.

What’s interesting about Dr. Hew Len’s approach is that he didn’t ask the patients to repeat the mantra themselves. Rather, he believed that, because we all share an energy and connection to each other, we ourselves have the ability to impact that energy positively or negatively for others. And, we all have the power to attract healing by our own actions and motivations. So by choosing to act on the one thing he could control — himself — his humility ultimately led to healing those connected to him, in this case his patients. That can be a radical and almost unbelievable notion for many, but it has been transformative for me.

Ho’oponopono reminds me of a socio-spiritual take on the butterfly effect, or the idea that small events can impact and become catalysts for other actions. That pendulum can swing in either a positive or negative direction. In the negative sense, there are so many ills in the world that can, in a way, stick to our souls. Bit by bit and moment by moment, those issues, if we allow them, can literally make us sick physically, emotionally and mentally. That’s because we live in a world full of people living lives that have been impacted by other hurting people. We are infecting each other by not dealing with and cleansing our internal selves.

My personal Application

Like many of my readers, I’ve experience a great deal of hurt in life. I’ve had setbacks and letdowns. Relationships have disappointed me. Strangers have disrespected me. Unfortunately, we have no power over other people. But we do have the power to positively affect people and circumstances around us if we reconcile, forgive and heal ourselves of the unfavorable things we have experienced. That will bring healing to our own lives and, by the laws of cause and effect, the lives of those around us. The great thing about Ho’oponopono is understanding the transformative power our healing can have. And I so want that healing — for myself and people around me. But that power is a choice. So that’s what I’m choosing for myself.

It is important that I choose daily to heal and not hold onto anger, frustration and vengeance. Moreover, I think it is important to choose to let go of disappointment, regrets and wrongs that have been done against me. The truth is I don’t wish anything bad for my ex-husband, mean moms, disrespectful strangers or anyone who has caused me to not feel and be my best. What matters most is that I choose to be a better me, and the notion that I make that choice every day. I know that choice will impact circumstances and people around me for the better, too.

The Results

Some people say the story of Dr. Len is simply a legend, that it may or may not be true. Regardless, its foundation resonates so strongly within me. Ho’oponopono has been integral in my healing, and I’ve seen its effects in my life. I have a rekindled compassion and gratitude for everyone around me, regardless of past or present circumstances. Little hints throughout my life show me that I’m on the right path because I haven’t let negativity bog me down. Though I may be but a small butterfly on this planet, I choose to flap my wings in the winds of positivity. I have faith that the tiny breezes from my movement will attract and affirm amazing things in the lives of others. So, with that, I say to you:

I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

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Making Space for All

Every great designer knows how paramount the wise use of square footage is to any space. I’d wager that every mom with multiple kids knows this, too! Having separate rooms for each child in the home isn’t always an available luxury for families, so it’s common to have siblings share bedrooms. Smaller rooms that need to house more than one child can leave you in quite the predicament. So how does one design a bedroom for multiple children without the advantage of abundant space?

Start by surveying the empty room. Most people think about the arrangement of beds first. My first tip is to consider what I call “unused real estate.” What does that mean, exactly? When you position beds throughout the room, it leaves little space for anything else. The clever usage of furniture will make any room feel much more spacious than it actually is. Find a company that makes loft beds in the style similar to those that you may find in a college dorm. These are great for kids, even older ones, because they can be ordered in almost any size. Incorporating a loft means you have room underneath for anything else that will fit comfortably. Everything from desks and dressers to even other beds will slide neatly in place and leave substantial floor space for other items. When designing a “Grandkids Room”, I’ve even placed toddler beds and cribs under a loft bed!

Perhaps one of the biggest obstacles when working with compact spaces is the concern of feeling cramped or cluttered. One of the easiest remedies for this potential problem involves the deliberate use of color palette. I like to use a lot of white when the space is limited. Consider painting wood furnishings white, selecting white picture frames and even using area rugs with white patterns. Keeping your color scheme light creates the illusion of cavernous space. It has the added bonus of making everything feel fresh and clean!

With beds occupying a single side of the room, storage can easily find a home on the other. My biggest tip is to make every item do double duty. For instance, some beds feature drawers underneath that pull out for easy access. These are ideal for clothing storage. Use ottomans that open up to reveal an extra cavity for smaller items. Window seats that lift up and open, or larger rectangular trunks can double as additional seating while storing shoes or toys. Skillful use of your furniture means that you can afford to add a large item such as a dresser or armoire without sacrificing much space. Ingenuity will go a long way when incorporating storage in a smart way.

Finally, combining decor in an age-appropriate fusion of sorts is a feat when the kiddie occupants are of vastly varying ages. One of the simplest ways around this is to choose decor that matches the style of the homeowner instead of the children. If your home is modern, choose pieces that fit within that style. Have more of a bohemian vibe? Mix in beaded pillows and dreamy suncatchers. The room will successfully complement the rest of the house and alleviate the dilemma of age-specific decorating. Giving the kids a couple of floating shelves beside their beds means they can personalize their own areas without detracting from the style or space.

In today’s world, families are downsizing for many reasons, and that can often make creating a comfortable space for children a huge challenge. Deciding to be intentional about the use of small space will lead to rewarding (and gorgeous) results!